Nah, he's his own person, joining Napoli would just add further comparisons to Maradona and that wouldn't be very appealing. Plus Napoli's a shit hole.
I've voted Inter, out of the options there, but Newell's is the only realistic team I think he could play for besides Barca.
Definitely not. They're on opposite sides of the scale in terms of defender types for starters. He looks like a useful player, but I'm with everyone who is suggesting a direct replacement for Abidal, and that's not Jordi Alba.