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  1. #406

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    SPANISH PRIMERA LIGA
    A three horse-race
    ?

    Phil Ball

    I've just watched the Sevilla v Real Madrid game, and it was a bit of a cracker, as was expected. The game may prove to be significant in various ways this season, but anyone watching can have little doubt as to the wonders that La Liga will have to offer this season. A two-horse race? Forget it. More like fools and horses - the fools being those that write off Sevilla, the horses being the chaps who occupy the left side of Real Madrid. Poor Marcelo, and poor Drenthe, if he'd been there.

    At one point in the second half, after Jesus Navas had just made his 5,000th incursion into the left side of Madrid territory at the speed of light, Iker Casillas had words with Guti, who in terms of attacking play had had a decent game. Without being able to lip-read Casillas, it was impossible to be sure about what he was saying, but it was probably something to do with the fact that Marcelo was receiving no support on the left-hand side, and that Navas was having a splendid time of it.

    If you'd taken half-a-dozen international managers to the game and asked them at the end who they thought was Spain's right winger, then presumably they would have all pointed to Navas. The fact that the 23 year-old still has no senior cap is either a testament to the quality of the national side or to the cataracts on the eyes of its managers in recent years. Would Navas walk into most national sides in the world? Yes. In the past, due to some nervous condition from which he suffers, he has disappeared in action for weeks on end, but at his best - as he was tonight - he is simply devastating.

    Add to that the left side of Seville's midfield, with either Perotti or Capel running riot, and it's clear to see that if you want to avoid defeat at the hands of Sevilla your full-backs need to be talking to your midfielders. It was bad enough when Dani Alves was around, but Sevilla still play the same way they always have, countering at breakneck speed and almost always using width to open up the line of the opposition. Glasgow Rangers in midweek managed to stem the tide whilst they were still full of running themselves, but when they ran out of steam in the second half, Sevilla simply pulverised them. It must have come as something of a culture shock, after winning week in and week out.

    Navas can score as well, as he demonstrated by stealing in and pummelling a header into the net for Sevilla's opener, from a poisonous cross from the left. Madrid played quite well nevertheless, but missed Ronaldo's ability to scare defenders and to over-occupy them, to the advantage of others. Pepe, excellent on the ground but as vulnerable in the air as his colleagues, equalised with a header from a Guti free-kick, but Sevilla just carried on regardless. Without the speed of Lass in the defensive third of the pitch, an empty motorway opened up on the left-hand side which Navas joyously exploited. Other sides will have taken note, but they'll have to have a decent right-sided player to make it count. Normally Marcelo keeps the opposition occupied by attacking himself, but was too unnerved by the sheer speed of Sevilla's counters, and was constantly caught in no-man's land.

    The talk next week - and there will be plenty of it because the league programme takes a rest until October 18th for the international games - will be about Madrid's first loss coinciding with Ronaldo's absence, due to an injured ankle sustained in midweek against Marseille. It would be a mistaken analysis, largely because the game was all about Sevilla, and their title credentials. The idea that they are weaker away from home has some substance in general terms, but there is little evidence to suggest so far that this is true in terms of this season. They lost their opening match at Valencia, true, but since then they have won each time on their travels. And to think that certain sections of the press were calling for Manuel Jimenez's head after that opening game.

    Madrid will recover, and may even learn something from the defeat. The problem, apart from Navas, was that the midfield had invention but lacked pace. On the back-foot, it was always going to be up to Pepe to clean things up, with ex-Sevilla darling Ramos gone a-roaming. Going forward they looked good, but couldn't quite make the final pass tell.

    Over at Barcelona, where internal espionage and president Joan Laporta's future political ambitions have been making the news and obscuring the excellence of the men on the pitch, the game against plucky Almería - never an easy side to play - would have also been of interest to those seeking to find some cracks in the edifice, some hope for the lesser mortals of the league to cling onto. But the principal attraction of the game from the press' point of view was the fact that Hugo Sánchez, now Almería's manager, was returning to the Camp Nou for the first time since retiring as a player in 1998.

    In truth he left Spanish shores in 1994 after a season with Rayo Vallecano (even then he scored 16 goals for them), but there have been few players in the history of the Spanish league so despised by the Camp Nou regulars as the somersaulting Mexican. He scored 13 times in 19 games against them, and of course always tended to rather over-celebrate matters. He wasn't massively popular in any stadium apart from the Bernabéu, and even there he put several noses out of joint with his famous dismissal of his colleagues - the famous 'Quinta del Buitre' consisting of Butragueño, Michel and company. Annoyed by all the attention they were receiving, Sánchez announced that he was forming a new 'quinta' (squadron, column) - 'La Quinta de los machos'. The suggestion that five of his team-mates were namby-pambies caused outrage that even his scoring exploits failed to smooth over.

    No matter. The 38 league goals he scored for Real Madrid in 1990 remains a record (tied with Zarra), but destiny could have acted otherwise. When Maradona left Barça for Italy, Barcelona's president Nuñez fancied Sánchez as his replacement, but Terry Venables, suspicious of the Mexican's nature, went for Steve Archibald instead. The Scot did just fine, but Sanchez did rather better.

    Pep Guardiola came up against him a couple of times as a player, and if that was an unpleasant experience then so was Saturday's game. Sánchez, the arch-attacker, drew up a Bilardo-style defensive game plan which was potentially suicidal. The idea that by man-marking Xavi you will somehow stop Barça from playing has been proved absurd before, because the baton simply switches to somebody else. There is little need to name the cooperating partners of this particular paradigm. But Sánchez got lucky, either because Messi and Iniesta were having an off day, or because the Xavi-shackling job handed to Chico (José Manuel Flores) worked to the extent that Xavi lost his rag and was booked - a rare event.

    Funnily enough, Chico was signed by Guardiola for Barça 'B' a couple of years ago, but he never made it to the first-team squad and was sent south. Not quite the way to show your appreciation to your ex-boss, but anyway. Iniesta picked up a rare yellow too, and although Barça made plenty of chances in spite of all this, they had Pedro to thank for a wonderful strike in the 30th minute, which forced the visitors to at least open up their lines a little more in the second half. Alves had a quiet game too, which didn't' help matters, but Barça are now three points clear and have equalled their best ever start to a league programme with six straight wins. They've actually done this three times before (1929, 1990 and 1997), but they might have their work cut out to beat the record, with a nasty-looking game at Valencia coming up after the break.

    Elsewhere, other records were established. The Argentine Emiliano Armenteros - now there's a name for you - became the first chap to score at Chapín or any other ground for that matter, in the top flight in Xerez's history. It's taken the side six games to hit the onion bag, but now there might be a flood, you never know. Unfortunately they still haven't won, Obbina wrecking the party with a cracking equaliser late on. And over in Valladolid, substitute Iker Muniain's goal for Athletic Bilbao means that he is now the youngest player in the history of La Liga to score, beating the previous record set by Levante's Xisco Nadal. The latter scored his first goal twelve days shy of his 17th birthday, but the new pup in Bilbao managed his at 16 years and 289 days - yah boo!

    Another couple of details. Real Sociedad started their game at Numancia with ten players formed in their youth set-up. The only exception was the goalkeeper, a Chilean. Two of the three subs who came on were also from the 'cantera' (quarry). It would be difficult to cast around Europe this weekend and find a similar case. That detail is just to take the wind from Bilbao's sails for the weekend. Oh, and Sociedad won 3-1 as well.

    If anyone has nothing better to do in Madrid on Tuesday night, please nip into the Casa Del Libro at 7.30 in the evening (Gran Vía) where you can pick up a free wine, spot a famous face or two and dare to ask me face to face if I'm a Real Madrid fan. I'll be wearing my Real Sociedad shirt anyway (possibly Grimsby - I haven't decided yet) - but if you also want to buy a copy of the book on Madrid then I won't stop you, of course.
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  2. #407

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beast View Post
    The fact that the 23 year-old still has no senior cap is either a testament to the quality of the national side or to the cataracts on the eyes of its managers in recent years. Would Navas walk into most national sides in the world? Yes. In the past, due to some nervous condition from which he suffers, he has disappeared in action for weeks on end, but at his best - as he was tonight - he is simply devastating.
    Uh? It IS due to that condition that he hasn't been capped, right? I can't imagine that a connoisseur as the walrus wouldn't pick him for his right line running.

  3. #408

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    Yes it's due to his condition , a well known fact in the liga .
    that will always keep him as a Seville play till he retire

    Sevilla Use Heads To Maul Madrid...
    Tim Stannard

    If you happen to think that the world of light entertainment reached its peak with 'Terry and June', then you'll probably love every single second of a typical Spanish sitcom.

    It's a form of televisual humour that is still very much stuck in the dark decades of the past where characters run about, shout a bit, and get smacked around the head by matriarchal figures in housecoats. And all to repeated bursts of canned laughter.

    Indeed, this probably explains why 'George and Mildred' can still be found on the TV schedules in Spain. If this programme in any way reflects life in 1970s Britain, then the Ruskies did the country a massive disservice by not nuking it until there was nothing left except John Noakes and his canal boat.

    But this week there were two genuinely titillating moments of comedy to be found on the humourless desert that is Spanish television. And they both involved Real Madrid chieftain Florentino Pérez.

    The first giggle-fest took place on Thursday in Copenhagen, as Spain's bigwigs assembled for the announcement of the hosts of the 2016 summer Olympics.

    It was also the location for a thinly-disguised spat between the ever-so-slightly right-wing president of Real Madrid and the Barcelona-supporting, ever-so-slightly left-wing Prime Minister of Spain José Luis Zapatero.

    In their brief encounter, the insufferably smug Pérez taunted his rival for the title of Most Important Man In Spain by bragging that his Real Madrid side had won all seven of their official games this season whilst a pathetic Barcelona had only managed six victories and a draw.

    And this is what makes Florentino's second goggle-box funny even better - the sight of Madrid's main man sinking into his seat at the Sanchez Pizjuán on Sunday night while watching his expensively-assembled outfit get battered by a Sevilla team that is everything that his own side could never be - financially sound, profit-making and well-liked by most fans in Spain.

    After four wins from five in the league and two victories in the Champions League, Sunday evening's encounter with the league leaders was third-placed Sevilla's chance to come good on manager Manolo Jiménez' claims that his team would try to be "a real alternative in la Liga". They achieved that ambitious aim by some distance.

    In a simply brilliant game of football that had goals, gaffes and Guti going ballistic - still one of the finest sights in the world of sport - Sevilla tore into Madrid in a devastating display of high pressure but superbly skilful football.

    With Cristiano Ronaldo out of the squad with ankle knack and Madrid's front three of Raúl, Kaká and Karim Benzema largely anonymous, Sevilla's tactics of getting in their opponents' faces and setting up camp there worked a treat.

    The home side were forceful in defence and devastating on the counter-attack with midfielder Jesus Navas playing the game of his life - although he was helped by his hapless Madrid marker Marcelo.

    The Sevilla sizzler opened the scoring for his side with a header just after the half-hour mark - something that was a particular disappointment to Madrid manager Manuel Pellegrini, who complained that both of their opponents' goals were headers from two of the smallest players on the pitch.

    It should have been 2-0 for Sevilla soon after the restart had it not been for a save from Iker Casillas that Tomás Roncero in AS compared to that of Gordon Banks' save from Pelé in the 1970 World Cup. And for once, the Madrid-crazed columnist was not too far off the mark.

    A deep cross from the right-hand side from Alvaro Negredo fell to an unmarked Diego Perotti who directed the ball towards the empty net - empty, that is, until the Madrid keeper hurled himself from one side of the goal to the other to block the effort.

    'Without Casillas, Madrid would have been thrashed,' noted Joan Battle in Barcelona-based Sport on Monday.

    Soon after Iker's astounding intervention, Pepe brought Madrid back into the match with a powerful header from a free-kick by Guti before Renato gave Sevilla a deserved victory after the third headed effort of the game.

    Whilst the home side were magnificent down to the last man, the real hero of the hour was perhaps the referee, Iturralde González, who allowed a bruising, battling encounter to flow without too much of the pernickety whistle-blowing that so blights the Spanish game.

    A first-half scuffle where a looking-for-blood Guti had Didier Zokora's hand shoved into his face whilst being pushed in the back by the young Argentine winger, Perotti, was dealt with by yellow cards, some stern words and nothing more.

    Ongoing player spats were ignored along with 50-50 crunching challenges which resulted in a flowing match that mixed the Premier League's intensity with la Liga's superior skill levels.

    Over the past few weeks, the Madrid press have been far too fulsome in their praise of Real Madrid during their seven-match winning streak and, on Monday, they are far too pessimistic in their assessment that their beloved club is a waste of space sans Ronaldo.

    'Without the Portuguese player, Pellegrini's men were a disaster,' cries Marca's front page whilst the editorial moans that 'Madrid keeps depending far too much on its stars'.

    It's quite possible that had the game been played in a month or two's time then the result would have been different. Kaká and Benzema are still trying to raise their particular game to match that of la Liga after the kitten soft security of life in Italy and France.

    And with the currently-crocked Ruud Van Nistelrooy in the starting line-up, one or two first-half chances missed by both Raúl and his French team-mate may well have been put away.

    But these are all ifs and ands and tinker's hands.

    Real Madrid faced their first proper test of the season and failed. Sevilla faced theirs and passed.

    Both are now three points off Barcelona at the top of the able, who continued their best-ever start to the season with a hard-fought home win over Almería.

    However, the Catalan club, like Madrid, have had fairly easy encounters in the league until now against the likes of Racing, Sporting, Atlético and Málaga.

    They face their own challenge to their title credentials in the next round as they take on Valencia in Mestalla, in what could turn out to be double trouble for Spain's more fancied football teams.


    B>Round 6 Results

    Tenerife 0-1 Deportivo
    Barcelona 1-0 Almería
    Atlético 2-1 Zaragoza
    Xerez 1-1 Málaga
    Villarreal 0-0 Espanyol
    Valladolid 2-2 Athletic
    Sporting 4-1 Mallorca
    Getafe 2-1 Osasuna
    Racing 0-1 Valencia
    Sevilla 2-1 Real Madrid
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  4. #409

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    For a moment Sevilla's fans thought Real Madrid were going to get away with it. They weren't
    Sid Lowe

    It was more than just the season's first big clash. It was as if Sevilla were representing the whole league

    Sometimes a crowd is the loneliest place to be. Times like last night. Coming up to midnight in the narrow tiled corridor below the stand at the Sánchez Pizjuán and Sevilla's president José María Del Nido bundles past, picking his way through the throng, embracing friends and shaking hands, a sweat of satisfaction turning his shirt from two-tone to three. Elbows out, shoving and buffeting like they're waiting for a corner to drop inside the six-yard box, journalists with fuzzy mics fight for position. In front of them, squeezed in, tiny head glistening with perspiration, voice virtually gone, Pepe shrugs while Sevilla's delighted players, all high-fives and hugs, try to get beyond him. Out on the pitch, it seemed so easy; down in this packed passageway, it's a different matter.


    The wooden doors to Real Madrid's dressing room open briefly. A security guard with a steely stare waits for the moment to bring out the rest of their players, marching them to the team bus like shoppers scurrying past sellers of La Farola. Eyes front, keep moving or they might talk to you. The crush intensifies. Beyond the security guard, Marcelo peers out wide-eyed, not for the first time a little boy lost. And beyond him, barely two metres from the madding crowd but in a world of his own, Manuel Pellegrini paces back and forth, like a lion in the savannah; three to the left, three to the right, back and forth, alone and in silence as he seeks an explanation, contemplating the fate that awaits and the game that had just unfolded – the game in which his neo-galácticos were finally beaten.


    What a game it was, too. On Sunday morning one Seville-based newspaper described it as "the greatest battle ever told", which must have wound up Antony Beevor something rotten but wasn't far wrong. It was the match the whole country had been waiting for – and for once it lived up to its billing.


    Week 6, Sevilla versus Real Madrid. First against third; the season's first really big clash, between the club that had won five in a row and the club that had won every game since the opening day. But it was bigger than that: it was as if it was Madrid and Barcelona versus the rest, as if Sevilla were playing for the whole league; as if the rest of Spain sent R2D2 to the Sánchez Pizjuán with a grainy hologram: Help us, Sevilla, you're our only hope.


    On Saturday night Barcelona had defeated Almería to go back top. For the sixth week running, there was a change. But if that sounds like the battle for La Liga was shaping to be wide open, think again. In week two Barcelona went top, then it was Madrid, then Barcelona, then Madrid again; each time by the odd goal. Madrid had won five out of five; by defeating Almería, Barcelona had won six successive matches. Mostly, they had done so with embarrassing ease. Neither side had even been behind. Not even for a minute. And with their budgets (€422m a year for Madrid, €405m for Barcelona, €135 for Valencia, the next highest), transfer expenditure (€254m and €114m compared to Sevilla's next best €26m), TV deals (€120m and €110m compared to Valencia's €44m) and fan base (Barcelona have 93,000 season-ticket holders, Madrid 65,000, Atlético 42,000), not to mention their utter domination of the media, the fear was that the gap would only grow.


    Sure Spain has the stars – Ronaldo, Messi, Kaká, Iniesta, Villa, Forlán, Agüero, Fabiano and the rest make a hell of a cast – but the fear was that when it came to teams La Liga had become a page three dolly bird boasting two fantastic assets but precious little else; hype gave way to pessimism. The Spanish are used to Madrid and Barcelona dominating – they've won 21 of the last 25 league titles – but not winning so easily. Increasingly, they agreed with the commentator who said: "Spain is like Scotland – only with sunflower seeds and good weather", and Zaragoza's president Eduardo Bandrés moaning, "It's the most boring league in Europe."


    It was up to Sevilla to prove him wrong. To make a game of it. No one else had. Sevilla did more, much more. As he paced, oblivious to the madness around him, Pellegrini reflected on the absence of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lassana Diarra, his side's weakness at set-plays and dire defending on the two goals – for the first Jesús Navas, all 5ft 7in of him, dunked on Marcelo; for the second, Renato had a free header in the middle of the six-yard box. But that wasn't even half of the story and bad though the defending was for Sevilla's goals, focussing on the failures doesn't do the game justice. It certainly doesn't do Sevilla justice. "The result," conceded Pellegrini, "was completely fair." If La Liga needed to make a point, last night Sevilla made it for them. In style.


    This was the match that had it all, every bit as good as the thumping clashes these two have thrown up recently, and arguably even more significant: 55,000 fans packed into the Sanchez Pizjuán, despite the cheapest seats costing €110, and belting their way through the best, loudest repertoire in Spain; a surprise party for Fredi Kanouté, complete with a special song whose catchy chorus went:


    "Eé Eé Eé Kanouté! "Eé Eé Eé Eé Kanoute!"


    Loads of tension, and plenty of abuse. It shouldn't have done but it even had the perfect, heart-in-your mouth finale.


    Above all, though, it had intensity and pace. And two wonderful wingers – Jesús Navas and Diego Perrotti. Madrid's Marcelo couldn't have been more comprehensively and expertly torn apart if he worked the streets of 19th-century Whitechapel. On the other side Sergio Ramos, the former Sevilla player booed all the way through, was struggling almost as much with Perrotti. No one could keep up. If the radio commentator high in the Pizjuán had got any quicker, he'd have taken off. Far from the stodgy displays that earned Manolo Jiménez criticism last year, it was reminiscent of Juande Ramos's Sevilla side that should have won the league. Sevilla - fast, relentless, asphyxiating; the team an extension of the fans, crashing forward in wave after wave. In fact, insisted one columnist, "I've never, ever seen them play so well."


    Sevilla opened the scoring midway through the first half; Navas spread a wonderful ball across the pitch – which came as a surprise because no one thought he could kick it that far – Perrotti laid a backheel into Fernando Navarro's pass and he clipped the ball into the box. Jesús rose to get on to the cross and headed in. That was just the start.


    Renato's header was, somehow, saved by Iker Casillas. Karim Benzema missed the ball completely. Fabiano wasted a sitter. Guti went down like he'd been shot, rolled round injured, was accused of faking it and immediately sprang to his feet to disagree. Casillas pulled off the most amazing save you have ever seen. And Pepe immediately equalised. 1–1. For a moment, Sevilla's fans thought Madrid were going to get away with it. They weren't.


    Renato scored a header. 2‑1. Sevilla kept looking for more. They should have got them – three or four of them. If Capel, on for Perrotti, could only get his hair out his eyes, maybe they would have done. Higuaín almost got in. Zokora took the ball down to the corner and celebrated time-wasting. Madrid went up the other end and, in the 93rd minute, Ramos had the perfect chance to equalise again. For a moment, Sevilla's fans thought Madrid were going to get away with it. They weren't.


    Ramos, the perfect pantomime villain, missed. Sevilla fans roared, the referee blew and Madrid fell to their knees. Sevilla celebrated like they'd won the league; in a way they have. The stadium erupted. And so too did the rest of Spain. If Valencia can beat Barcelona in two weeks' time, the cheer will be louder yet. Hay Liga, as they say: maybe there is a league title, after all.



    Talking points


    • Pennant watch: had a thigh injury in midweek and so was on the bench as Atlético finally got their first win of the season, with a 2-1 victory over Real Zaragoza. But it was far from impressive from Atlético and the pressure is still on coach Abel Resino. Pennant came on with 15 minutes or so to go. Produced two excellent crosses and looked fast and dangerous every time he got the ball, which wasn't often enough – spent much of his time screaming for team-mates to release it.


    • Valencia also won at last but might have lost what really matters to them. A 1-0 win in Santander ended a run of three games without a win but top scorer David Villa departed with what looked like a muscle tear. Next up for Valencia, Barcelona.


    • Barcelona struggled more than normal against Almería after coach Hugo Sánchez told Chico to do a man-marking job on Xavi Hernández. Xavi admitted he'd never had anyone follow him so intently before. Barcelona won 1-0 thanks to a wonderful goal from Pedro. But Guardiola insists that other coaches shouldn't go getting any bright ideas: he says has the solution to man marking.


    • 16 years, 290 days. That's how old Athletic Bilbao forward Muniain is: the youngest goalscorer in La Liga history after getting one in the 2-2 draw with Valladolid.


    • Mallorca's return to their natural place begins; the question is will Deportivo's? They currently sit in a Champions League place. And what about Villarreal? Second bottom, no wins in six. They were unlucky yet again.


    • It was ugly. It was probably a hand-ball. It was from all of a yard and a half. And he still nearly missed it. But no one cared. Xerez have got their first ever goal in the first division at last. Not that it earned them a win, mind you.


    Results: Tenerife 0–1 Deportivo, Barcelona 1–0 Almería, Atlético 2–1 Zaragoza, Xerez 1–1 Málaga, Villarreal 0–0 Espanyol, Valladolid 2–2 Athletic, Sporting 4-1 Mallorca, Getafe 2–1 Osasuna, Racing 0–1 Valencia, Sevilla 2–1 Madrid.
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  5. #410

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    Cheers Gio.


    "With dauntless breast"

  6. #411

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    And this is what makes Florentino's second goggle-box funny even better - the sight of Madrid's main man sinking into his seat at the Sanchez Pizjuán on Sunday night while watching his expensively-assembled outfit get battered by a Sevilla team that is everything that his own side could never be - financially sound, profit-making and well-liked by most fans in Spain.



    Hola, very hard paragraph.

  7. #412

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    La Liga’s Good Day, Bad Day - Round 6

    Monday 05 October 2009 10:00
    Good Day

    Sevilla

    After a couple of depressing days spent in the Vicente Calderón and Coliseum watching Atleti and Getafe, the Sevilla vs Real Madrid clash was a powerful pick-me-up against the La Liga Loca’s blues that prevented it from popping into its usual post-Deportivo drugs den.

    Irrespective of the result, this sensational game was a huge boost for the Spanish league and a banishment of the blog’s grumpy claims that la Liga was divided into A and B divisions.

    Sevilla were magnificent on Sunday night, while Real Madrid were not as bad as Monday’s papers are complaining, but could not match their Flamenco-fuelled opponents for pace or power.

    It was the result most neutrals - including this particular organ - was praying for. And it will be supporting Valencia just as hard against Barcelona in a fortnight’s time.

    Jesus Navas

    Despite the Spanish squad for the World Cup now being fixed - aside from injuries and any changes, according to a double-speaking Vicente Del Bosque - Jesus Navas may, just may force his way onto the roster if he can keep battling away at his psychological demons that prevent him from leaving the city of Seville for more than a few days at a time.

    “I’m taking steps to be with them,” claimed Navas on Sunday night after a magnificent display against Madrid.

    Up close and personal, Navas is a frail, delicate-looking figure with a whisper of a voice.

    But on the pitch, he’s as hard-as-nails, as strong-as-an-ox and as devastating as a... er... devastating thing.

    Saint Iker Casillas

    Produced the season’s first “Did he just do that?” moment, with that second half save against Diego Perotti.

    The best goalkeeper in the world and La Liga Loca will arm wrestle anyone who says anything different.

    Doesn’t mean that a rather puny blog will necessarily win, though.

    Deportivo

    “Valencia, Villarreal, Atlético Madrid! Gather round.

    "No, no, that doesn’t go in your ear Atleti. Just put it down and come here.

    "Now, Deportivo’s 1-0 win over Tenerife has put them into fourth place. Yes, that’s right. Fourth. Deportivo.

    "Now how does that make you feel? Mmm? Yes. I thought so. Now go back to your corners.”

    Barcelona

    La Liga Loca had got down to the Vicente Calderón on Saturday night nice and early to catch the preceding clash between Barcelona and Almería.

    But seeing as neither the stadium bar, nor any bars around it had GolTV, the platform the game was broadcast on, it cannot contribute anything to the Catalan cause today, aside from saying that it enjoyed the images of Chica trailing Xavi around the pitch and current blog hero Pedro’s stunning strike.

    But La Liga Loca is welcoming any outside interventions or ramblings on the Camp Nou clash. And a free card, holder, and subscription from GolTv, too.

    Iker Muniaín

    The Athletic player’s equalising strike against Valladolid on Sunday makes him the youngest scorer in la Liga at the age of just 16 years and 290 days.

    Spain’s Jason Dozzell is surely among us.

    David De Gea

    The 18-year-old keeper who made his league debut for Atlético on Saturday night is the definite hero of the hour for the rojiblancos - there aren’t many other contenders, to be fair - after a solid display against Racing in a 2-1 win - a display that included a penalty save.

    Although he did give the spot-kick away in the first place, mind.

    The good news for the shot-stopping youngster is that he can now enjoy the love and adulation from the Atleti support, at least until Sergio Asenjo comes home from Spain duty.

    The bad news is that Marca and AS have already started poking into his private life with Monday’s editions featuring him pootling about his ‘pueblo’ and having a bash on his Playstation.

    Pedro León

    Pretty much the only player who showed any signs of life for Getafe in a horribly sleepy encounter at the Coliseum was Pedro León.

    The former Valladolid midfielder who dazzled the locals with a stunning free-kick against Valencia two rounds ago was back at his best again with a cracking chipped lob thing to put Getafe into a 2-1 lead against Osasuna - a lead which they hung on to.

    Xerez

    A goal! An actual goal! A crappy two yard poke from Emiliano Armenteros that may well have come from a handball, but a goal nonetheless!

    And a point as well, against a worryingly bad Málaga.

    Sporting

    Not only did the Asturian side put high-flying Mallorca in their place with a 4-1 win, but Sporting nestled themselves into ninth with a second victory of the season.

    Nikola Zigic

    It’s always fun to see some strikers return to their old clubs and perform the “I’m not celebrating” trudge back to the half-way line after grabbing a goal.

    The Serbian Yeti did just that on Sunday evening after his winner against his beloved Racing - a match that will see David Villa out of the Spanish side next week after a muscle knack.

    Bad Day

    Marcelo

    Skinned, smoked and hung up to dry by Jesus Navas. Made Royston Drenthe look good. Oh yes. That bad.

    Carlos Aranda

    Arizmendi and Riki had better watch their step, cos’ there’s a new sheriff of shoddy sharp shooting in town. That man is Osasuna’s Aranda.

    The former Numancia forward first made a name for himself last week with a stunning headed miss against Sporting.

    But the baldy, slow one surpassed this effort on Sunday with two laughably lousy attempts to score a goal using his bonce.

    The Osasuna forward nearly fluffed his eventual effort by directing the ball straight at Cata Díaz on the goalline, but fortunately for careless Carlos he was not able to clear the danger.

    “You can only miss chances if you take them,” said an understanding José Antonio Camacho after the game, after a journalist more-or-less told the Osasuna manager that his striker was completely sh*t.

    Nivaldo

    And for a second week in succession, it’s a warm welcome to the Bad Day section for Valladolid defender, Nivaldo.

    Last time round, the Pucela centre-back put in a staggering performance of utter ineptitude in a defeat at Mallorca.

    This week, the Brazilian put Fernando Llorente in hospital with a horrendous headed challenge before getting himself sent off later on in the game - his second red card in five games.

    Good work.

    Villarreal

    Well, La Liga Loca’s weekend prediction of a double figure scoreline for Villarreal against Espanyol didn’t quite come off.

    In fact, there’s wasn’t any scoreline at all. Here’s Paul from Barcelona who travelled south to watch Sunday’s goalless draw.

    “Regular readers may remember me explaining that a trip to Villarreal isn't the most exciting. Well nothing's changed.

    "It's still three or four hours away from Barcelona and there's still nothing to do when you get there. And they still have a high percentage of Argentinean and Scottish supporters. (Anyone know why?)

    1) Forlin's red card was softer than that Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel Song (ask your dad). Try YouTube for both.
    2) Kameni had a great game, but he still is a microsecond away from some howler.
    3) Villarreal are missing an edge. They try to play football and play it wide but the end product is poor. (Cliché alert)
    4) Espanyol defended well but the expected onslaught from Villarreal didn't really come. For the most part, Espanyol were comfortable for the 70 odd minutes where they only had 10 men.”

    Paul, Barcelona

    Málaga

    Currently a side wishing they could play Atlético Madrid every week, as that has been their only win of the current campaign back in the opening round.

    *And you can hear more of La Liga Loca's thoughts on the weekend's action in 3D and Smellovision on RMTV's gabfest, Extra Time, all this week.

    ---------------------------------------------
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  8. #413

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    Those La Liga Loca articles are just a case of trying too hard.

  9. #414

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gnegneri View Post
    Those La Liga Loca articles are just a case of trying too hard.
    It's hard to comment on 10 games every week and make it funny . sometimes it turns bad like the last one

    Pellegrini Out! Pep Out! Everyone Out!
    Tim Stannard

    Tuesday 06 October 2009 10:00
    The word on the mean, polluted, traffic-clogged streets of Madrid on Monday was that Florentino II was not a happy presidential bunny after the previous night’s defeat of Real to Sevilla, and definitely did not take the 2-1 setback on the chins.

    It seems that Pérez did not so much throw his toys out of the pram as bash his super-duper PS3 with a mallet in the manner of a spoilt seven-year-old megabrat failing, once again, at the second stage of SpuzzBang 4.

    And this is reflected in Tuesday’s leads in both Marca and Sport who report - the former hinting, the other declaring - that Manuel Pellegrini’s Bernabeu days are already numbered due to poor home performances, the rotation of his expensively purchased stars and the Third Choice Chilean’s insistence at playing Raúl, a player Pérez simply doesn’t like.

    The biggest winner from this crazy Castle Greyskull kerfuffle is La Liga Loca, which may soon be spared from having to write about football - a fairly dull process - to get down and dirty in some sauce and scandal which has been so desperately lacking so far this season.

    So, in the spirit of Florentino Pérez, the blog calls on all presidents of la Liga to sack their coaches for no good reason, starting with....

    Pep Guardiola - Just for the look on his face as Joan Laporta marches into his office and tells him to pack up his stupid cardigans and get out of Catalunya by nightfall.

    But, Pep being Pep - the coolest man in the universe - the Barça coach would merely shrug nonchalantly De Niro-style, sit tight on his pay-off and have his pick of any position in the world next summer.

    Miguel Angel Lotina - A journo from the Basque Country once told the blog that the current Deportivo boss is so unrelentingly miserable that during a spell at Real Sociedad, even the happiest hacks would want to take a bath with a toaster after just 10 minutes in his company.

    If Super Depor are currently fourth, just imagine where they could be with a happy, clappy soul in charge of the side. Like Luis Aragonés, perhaps.

    Abel Resino - Should be in a kiosk selling Marca, not appearing in it.

    The Atlético manager is a gravel-voiced, menacing, scarey mofo whose only achievement in his short spell at the Vicente Calderón is having made a previously terrible defence even worse and moved Diego Forlán into midfield.

    Should be instantly sacked and replaced by Bernardo Schuster who La Liga Loca saw at Getafe’s Coliseum stadium on Sunday, and is said to be looking to continue on his quest to manage every club in Madrid.

    Ernesto Valverde - Yes, the Villarreal manager may have taken Espanyol to the UEFA Cup final - an act today that would almost certainly prove the existence of God.

    And yes, he may have won the double at Olympiakos. But, Merciful Zeus, how can you play six games with Rossi, Llorente, Senna, Pires and Cazorla in the side and STILL not win a game. Half-wit.

    Cuco Ziganda - The only goal the Xerez manager’s team has scored in six games so far was a clear handball. A coach and side so useless that Sunday’s referee took pity on the pathetic pairing and allowed it.

    Should be fired immediately and replaced by Jack Bauer.

    Michel - La Liga Loca wants the Getafe boss gone, gone, gone.

    Mainly because he’s not Michael Laudrup - a capital crime in the blog’s world - but also due to his continuing insistence in playing the totally hopeless Adrían in midfield - a footballer who also happens to be his son.

    ---------------------------------------------
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  10. #415

  11. #416
    Bomb Dropper Metaphysical's Avatar
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    that's pretty golden.
    Annapurna, on the mountain at dawn

  12. #417
    Yusuf Islam yusuf's Avatar
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    hahahah, nice gio
    i can find the phil ball articles but dont know where to find the others so thanks for posting them.
    general gooners

    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphysical View Post
    and FINALLY

    there's a whole generation of whingy little metrosexual myspace kids (or, former whingy little metrosexual myspace kids) who came of age when arsene's team were in their pomp around the turn of the century. these new breed of gooners are as myopic as their manager and come out with ridiculous statements like "we don't need ashley cole, clichy is better~!!!" and have a crazy inflated view of their own players and abilities. nuts is a great example.

  13. #418
    Wurzeltron Cal-FCB's Avatar
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    that's a great article, brilliant
    "A lot of fans and pundits see brainless running and determination as much more exciting than intelligent passing and good skills on the ball. You may be quite indifferent on the ball, but if you play with determination and run like a headless chicken, you are likely to become one of the fans' favourites."

    Unnamed Premiership manager on his league

  14. #419

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    Sums don’t add up at Spanish FA
    Tim Stannard

    Thursday 08 October 2009 12:00
    It’s been a big couple of days for the Spanish FA (RFEF) in its ongoing centenary celebrations.

    At the beginning of the week, there was a golden oldie gathering of ex-internationals who, while being well beyond their sell-by dates, are still hanging on to long-gone glories of the past as a means of making it through another day.

    But, that’s enough about Raúl.

    Unfortunately, it seems that Marca may be about to poop the 100-year party by pointing out that a match to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the organisation’s foundation was celebrated in 1988 - some 21 years ago.

    Do the math, as the Americans might say.

    Indeed, Thursday’s edition also features a photograph of the FA president, Angel Villar, giving a national shirt to Spanish Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero with a crest showing 1913 as the organisation’s start date.

    The paper notes that it has yet to get clarification from the RFEF on why the celebrations are apparently being held four years early.

    But that is not surprising considering the gentleman in charge of the year’s events is none other than Ramón Calderón, the former Real Madrid president who appeared on Wednesday’s front cover of Marca alongside a reminder of how many years he could face doing stir if the various corruption allegations against him come good.

    The big finale to the hundred year bash is set to be an exhibition game against Argentina, to be held at Atlético’s Vicente Calderón stadium in November.

    The original host for the match was the Santiago Bernabeu as it has a bigger capacity and is not a mould-invested death trap.

    But the location of the game had to be moved after Florentino Pérez had his first high chair tantrum of his latest tenure back in the summer, and threw a plate of semolina into Emilio Butregueño’s face and squealed that his predecessor must never be allowed entry into Castle Greyskull.

    And this leads us nicely - or clunkily - to the blog’s next story which concerns Ramón Calderón’s biggest fan, Roberto Gómez at Marca.

    As La Liga Loca may not be around to see the inevitable day when Florentino II’s reign goes Pete Tong and the Bernabeu stadium is sold, demolished and replaced with a Pérez-shaped skyscraper, the blog has had to get its kicks from witnessing Gómez’ presence in the paper reduced to a bare minimum due to his allegiances with the former president, who he once hailed as being the most honourable man on the planet.

    However, this ongoing spell on the naughty step didn’t prevent Gómez from pulling a fine piece of journalism out of the bag this week, by calling for none other than Jesus Navas to be signed up as Real Madrid’s next Galactico.

    Considering the midfielder can barely be away from Seville for more than a couple of days at a time - an issue for any Madrid-based player - the club would have to drug the footballer and place him in a Truman Show-style reproduction of his ‘pueblo’ to prevent instant wig-out, for Gómez’s cunning plan to come true.

    AS were also in competition for the week’s best example of general idiocy, with an interview with Gordon Banks and how his 1970 save against Pelé compared to Iker Casillas’ extraordinary effort against Sevilla.

    But what might have been a bit of scoop turned into a woeful washout when the former England keeper admitted he had yet to see the Madrid man’s stunning stop.

    For those desperate for news on Pep’s Dream Boys this week, then Sport have come up with a truly mind-blowing revelation for Thursday’s edition.

    According to the paper, Barça are great. But what’s more - Pep Guardiola is great, too.

    The coach who still refuses to sign a new contract to take him past June 2010 has built a team that “is admired by all” sighs the Catalan paper, who note that Pep has also received plaudits from Getafe boss and former Madridista, Michel.

    La Liga Loca would like to note that this is faint praise indeed, considering what Michel is to football management, the Spanish FA is to arithmetic.

    ---------------------------------------------
    Last edited by Beast; 8th October 2009 at 09:46 PM.
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  15. #420
    Rocketman IrvDizzle's Avatar
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    Phil Ball > Tim Stannard
    The Life and Times of IrvDizzle according to Chucky
    Quote Originally Posted by Chucka View Post
    Irv love to arrive at times of hardship, he wants to lurk, but is being made to work. He hates his boss, he wears too much Hugo Boss, it stinks out the place, he wants to give someone a race, although he owns a Ford, it gets him bored, but it's the only one he can afford, because hes IrvIN and he lives in a bin.

    PTC 4 LIFE

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