Liga Pundits articles

**Metaphysical** · 26th August 2009 05:06 PM

robben won't be injured if he's not playing. and he will complain.

ruud and granero won't complain, you're right there.

lol@raul not complaining.

djila will complain. he knows how good he is and won't stand being second fiddle to his shorter frencher gayer version.

higuain hasn't complained yet because he hasn't had cause to. when he first arrived his profile wasn't that big but now he's been your main man. if he's benched I'd imagine he won't be too pleased about it.

sneijder passed up a starting spot to compete for his place. there's a difference, man.

**Beast** · 26th August 2009 05:12 PM

Higuain was the main man last year and was benched several times for Huntelaar and others.. Higuain like Marcelo both came too early to Real they are literally a semi-cantera for us .. both made their names in the club both will never complain and will sit when needed on the bench with no problem..

Sneijder is a complete pro..he will never complain as for Robben he did sit a lot of times for Robinho without opening his mouth..

Raul was informed and he accepted he is no longer a starter .. open u'r eyes Meta

**yusuf** · 26th August 2009 05:12 PM

if i were higuin i would cause a riot if benzema is starting over me

**Abaddon** · 26th August 2009 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by Metaphysical

robben won't be injured if he's not playing. and he will complain.

ruud and granero won't complain, you're right there.

lol@raul not complaining.

djila will complain. he knows how good he is and won't stand being second fiddle to his shorter frencher gayer version.

higuain hasn't complained yet because he hasn't had cause to. when he first arrived his profile wasn't that big but now he's been your main man. if he's benched I'd imagine he won't be too pleased about it.

sneijder passed up a starting spot to compete for his place. there's a difference, man.

C'mon now Meta, Robben needs 5 minutes of practice to get injured.

When has Raul complained before?

Diarra might be a problem when he's fully back after the injury, but we'll have injuries and suspensions, he'll get games.

Higuain will not complain. He'll get regular minutes off the bench.

Sneijder passed up Inter knowing he would be benched. As you cules pointed out so often, Madrid made it clear they wanted him out.

**Beast** · 26th August 2009 05:15 PM

Anyhow

Part 3 of Tim preview/prediction

The Big Season Preview - Part Three

Wednesday 26 August 2009 13:00
Racing Santander

The new campaign for Racing Santander is set to be a veritable thriller - STAY AWAKE! - with literally anything possible! - STOP MOVING ON TO THE NEXT SECTION!

The first statement is not technically true. It’s set to be a horrific struggle for survival against constant Cylon attacks.

Racing’s budget has been cut for the second year in the row and the club has lost the solidity of Ezequiel Garay and Iván Marcano in defence and the goals of Jonathan Pereira and Nikola Zigic up front.

And this leaves the Santander side with the distinctly unexciting Nasief Morris and Marc Torrejón from Recreativo and Espanyol respectively to help hold the fort.

Oh yes. Luis García has joined from Atlético Madrid too, just when Racing fans were feeling things couldn’t be any worse.

It’s hard to see where the goals are going to come from this season, and new manager Juan Carlos Mandía - who has joined from second division Hercules - is a fine choice for the first coach of the campaign to be canned.

LLL Prediction - There may be enough porridge in the tank to stay up, but as the Spanish like to say, Racing are going to suffer.

Real Madrid

It’s a win-win situation for all those neutral types out in La Liga Loca land.

If it all goes Pete Tong for Real Madrid in the new season then it will be very, very funny indeed, especially in light of the nauseous pomposity of their Santiago Bernabeu Trophy game which saw a giant banner in the stands reading “Welcome back Florentino! You kept your promise!”

The blog imagines the Madrid president was up all night painting it.

But if Pellegrini’s plan comes together then there should be some tasty football on offer and a decent title race with Getafe and Barcelona to enjoy.

Pretty much everyone in Spain has had their say on what will happen once the season starts.

Even the mad bat lady who sits on La Liga Loca’s corner at 11pm every night for two hours of screeching and insulting passers by.

“WRAAAHH!!!!! EEEEEIIIHHHH!!!!! GGGAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Well, it all depends on whether Real Madrid can find a settled side quickly enough and have a good start to the season. Plus, the future of Arjen Robben in the squad is a key issue too.

GRAAHH!!!!!!! SCUM!!!!!!WHOOOOOORES!!!!” was the bat lady’s thoughts when probed and offered another sniff of glue.

La Liga Loca shares her views for the most part.

LLL Prediction - Title contenders.

Sevilla

Sevilla president, José Maria del Nido may be distracted over the next 12 months or so with a corruption trial and the prospect of 12 years in the slammer having his baldy head getting a daily polish by Big Al, but it should be another steady, sturdy, but downright dull season for his club.

Although it was a third-placed finish last time round and a return to the Champions League, the campaign was not entertaining good enough to please either La Liga Loca or most of the Sevilla support at the Sánchez Pizjuán, who were bored to death by coach Manolo Jiménez and his defeatist defensive stylings.

This year, Sevilla’s central midfield sees the addition of Didier Zokora from Spurs, while the club pulled off a bit of a coup by saving Madrid’s Alvaro Negredo from the clutches of Hull City to give Luis Fabiano and Freddie Kanouté a bit of competition up front.

LLL Prediction - Part of the Atlético, Villarreal, Valencia scram for the Champions League places.

Sporting

With five games to go at the end of the last campaign, Sporting were in all sorts of trouble after a 3-1 defeat to Atlético Madrid.

But that’s when La Liga Loca rubbed shoulders with a journo from the area, who nudge-nudged that Sporting would win their last three matches and be fine and dandy at the end of the day.

Low and behold, that’s exactly what happened with victories against Málaga, Valladolid and Recreativo. 2-1, 2-1, 2-1. Fancy that.

A big dose of ‘Lady Luck’ will be required once again if Sporting are to prevail in la Liga.

An already flimsy squad has had few upgrades with midfielder Miguel de la Cuevas’ arrival from Atlético being the nearest that Sporting can call a star signing.

With the best home and away fans in la Liga, the blog has crossed everything it possibly can in the hope that Sporting can survive once again. But there are major doubts.

LLL Prediction - Doomed!

Tenerife

Making a welcome return to the bright lights after a seven year spell in la Segunda, Tenerife are very much a unknown quantity.

Mainly because no-one really watches second division footie in Spain - well, La Liga Loca doesn’t anyway - and most of the players in their new squad are the ones that led Tenerife to third in the division last year.

But having probed those who know considerably more, the feeling is that Tenerife will stay up due to the simple fact that they have a fortress of a home that lies somewhere off the coast of Brazil - an away trip that will surely bankrupt Valencia for starters.

LLL Prediction - This season’s Getafe, Almería, Malaga, plucky so-and-so’s.

La Liga Loca talking tripe or making sense? Go ahead and make the blog's day punks, by sharing your thoughts below.

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**Metaphysical** · 26th August 2009 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by Abaddon

C'mon now Meta, Robben needs 5 minutes of practice to get injured.

no but...

yeah ok you have a point here.

When has Raul complained before?

he's not had cause to before!

Diarra might be a problem when he's fully back after the injury, but we'll have injuries and suspensions, he'll get games.

djila will be gone by january, I guarantee it. he's the best DM in the world and should be playing week-in and week-out.

Higuain will not complain. He'll get regular minutes off the bench.

tbh I will be astounded if he's happy with regular minutes off the bench. higuain's main problem is that he's basically competing with raul to be the backup forward (or robben to be backup winger). I find it very hard to believe he won't be unhappy. like I said earlier, these guys may not spaz out eto'o-style but they wont be happy and that will be evident in training and will bring the overall mood of the squad down (I think that's why pep wanted jorquera out so badly).

Sneijder passed up Inter knowing he would be benched. As you cules pointed out so often, Madrid made it clear they wanted him out.

admittedly this is an interesting case. although it should be noted that inter didn't meet his wage demands so it could just be that he's on a fat contract at real and doesn't wanna leave it. but assuming it's a sporting issue, my earlier stance still applies.

were he the only player you had to accommodate, there would be no problems and he would get plenty of time. but because he's one of SEVERAL that need playing... I forsee problems. he's a professional but he's also dutch. we'll see.

**Beast** · 28th August 2009 07:33 AM

The Big Season Preview - Part Four

Thursday 27 August 2009 12:00
Valencia

So what do you do if you are some half-a-billion euros in debt, desperately struggling to service it and are on the brink of disappearing into a gaping chasm of doom?

Do you sell your most valuable assets? Or perhaps jam your fingers in your ears upto your brain, go ‘nah! nah! nah!’ and hope the financial fairies magic the problems away.

The latter is the approach that those wacky funsters at Valencia appear to have plumped for.

Which is why they still have all their top players at the club - and one or two more such as the returning Nikola Zigic and Ever Banega - but no long term solution to their whopping economic crisis.

The Mestalla bosses have just taken on another multi-million euro loan to get the club through the next few months - something they did back in spring when they ran out of cash to pay wages - with the local council weighing in to make sure the club doesn’t go under.

As it stands, Valencia’s squad is good enough for a top four finish - something manager, Unai Emery, is targeting - but there is no way in Hades of predicting what off-the-field funny business could derail the club’s current campaign.

LLL Prediction - Champions League contenders or oblivion.

Valladolid

With Manchester United and Hull City legend Manucho set to score some 40 goals for his new club this season, it should be a path of daisies and delight for Valladolid over the next nine months.

But if, if, if the cocksure campaigner is being a little over ambitious with his target, then La Liga Loca’s crystal ball is all with the foggy when it tries to gaze into Valladolid’s immediate future.

There has been a bewildering turnover of players in what was one of the oldest squads in la Liga with 14 footballers coming in and hundreds either leaving to bigger and better clubs - and Atlético - moving to lower league oblivion or simply retiring.

The big absentees in the upcoming campaign will be goalkeeper Sergio Asenjo, who has moved to the Vicente Calderón and flying right midfielder Pedro Leon, now at Getafe.

Coach, José Luis Mendilibar will be crossing his fingers that the experience of the incoming Héctor Font from Osasuna and the general handiness of the still-staying Néstor Canobbio and Jonathan Sesma will make it a quiet, happy season in Pucelaland.

LLL Prediction - Mid-table suburbia.

Villarreal

There’s a new salty seaman poking his one beady eye into the periscope of the Yellow Submarine ever since Manuel Pellegrini decided to ruin a perfectly nice life by joining Real Madrid.

And that lucky seafarer is Barnacle Ernesto Valverde, a stern, sturdy landlubber who once took Espanyol to the UEFA Cup final and guided Olympiakos to a Greek domestic double last season.

And in what is set to be a big snog of death to the east coast club, La Liga Loca is tipping Villarreal to actually win something this season - a feat the club has managed to avoid throughout its entire history.

The forward four of Giuseppe Rossi, Joseba Llorente, returning-from-Racing Jonathan Pereira and record signing Nilmar ooze goals, while the back four has been boosted by the highly-rated Iván Marcano.

What can possibly go wrong?

LLL Prediction - A top four finish and a Copa del Rey triumph.

Xerez

Entering the arena in a smoke-emitting, backfiring clown car with collapsing doors, it’s Xerez - this season’s comedy club to replace Betis.

The Andalusian side started their campaign with a squad of just four, deserting board members and the manager that led them to last season’s Segunda division title deciding to quit.

But since then, Xerez have appointed former Osasuna hard-man Cuco Ziganda to the bench and have packed their ranks with loanees, cast-offs who those too bewildered to know where they are playing.

Xerez will be hoping to avoid the off-the-field shenanigans of the last campaign which saw three presidents and one arrest over a drive-by-shooting at a brothel, and will be basically trying not to embarrass themselves too much before returning the second division.

LLL Prediction - Relegation. Or sixth.

Zaragoza

And it’s a welcome return to Zaragoza who managed to bounce back out of the second division at their first attempt.

Marcelino’s gamble of leaving Racing a year ago to move to la Segunda and La Romareda may well have paid off as it seems as if Zaragoza could have a bright, shiny future ahead of them.

Of course, the big news from the club for English eyes is the art nouveau transfer of Jermaine Pennant from Liverpool, with hopes that the midfielder can rebuild a once promising career at his new home.

The other player hoping to fulfil his playing promise is Ikechuwku Uche who has moved from Getafe, a club he never really seemed to be happy at.

The other set of good news from the Zaragoza camp to cheer us all in these dark times of crisis is the return of Angel Arizmendi, possibly the funniest forward ever to have played the game.

LLL Prediction - A comfortable campaign back in the big time.

The ‘what-the-hell, someone’s going to be upset' final table.

1. Barcelona
2. Real Madrid
3. Villarreal
4. Atlético
5. Sevilla
6. Valencia
7. Getafe (vamos!)
8. Athletic Bilbao
9. Espanyol
10. Zaragoza
11. Deportivo
12. Osasuna
13. Valladolid
14. Racing
15. Málaga
16. Tenerife
17. Sporting
18. Mallorca
19. Almería
20. Xerez

**Beast** · 28th August 2009 01:52 PM

We start our A-Z lowdown on all 20 team`s in Spanish Football`s top flight
with the first ten in alphabetical order: Almeria through to Osasuna...

Balague

Almería (Last season 12th)
Mexican coach Hugo Sanchez took control of a struggling Almeria midway through last season and guided them from 3 points above relegation to mid-table safety. However, they were defensively poor and owed much of their survival to the 19 goals of Alvaro Negredo.

Without last season`s top goalscorer, combined with the departures of full-backs Bruno and Mané, anything other than relegation can be considered a success. Kalu Uche and Pablo Piatti managed just 13 league goals between them last term and new signing Henok Goitom will be expected to replace Negredo as target man, but the big Swedish forward will need to improve upon last season`s ten goal tally scored at Valladolid if Almeria are to prosper. Fans are excited over the potential of 22 year old Argentine midfielder Hernan Bernardello, signed from Newell`s Old Boys, after Almeria reportedly beat Sevilla and Lokomotiv Moscow to his signature.

Athletic Bilbao (Last season 13th)
Despite Premier league interest, Joaquín Caparrós has managed to keep hold of key players like Llorente, Javi Martinez and Amorebieta and he has added personnel to try and shore up the third worse defence in La Liga last season. They may not be pretty to watch, more English than Spanish in style in many ways; but if they can stop conceding late goals they are certain to improve upon a previous campaign that saw them distracted by a thrilling cup run - which the fans loved - but meant they went on a terrible league run that saw them finish just two points above relegation. Most of their new additions lack top flight experience and Athletic will be looking to the academy system as always, but at least one new signing is ready to make his mark from the outset, left back Xabi Castillo, who was a key player for Real Sociedad last term.

Atlético Madrid (Last season 4th)
There`s Champions League football on offer at the Vicente Calderon this season, and combined with the fact that Atleti have managed to keep hold of an outstanding forward line that includes Aguero, Diego Forlan and Simao, there`s plenty of cause for optimism. However, this is Atletico Madrid we are talking about, so expect the unexpected and a bumpy ride as usual. Jose Antonio Reyes is back after spending a season at Benfica and the veteran Juanito from Betis brings plenty of experience to a suspect defence and they are still looking for a decent central midfielder, but the spotlight falls on Sergio Asenjo and the Spanish U21 goalkeeper - widely tipped as the natural successor to Iker Casillas - will have some very high expectations put to the test.

FC Barcelona (Last season 1st)
What more can possibly be said about Barcelona`s stunning form last season that we haven`t said already. After heaping praise on last season`s treble winners, the question everyone is asking is `Can they sustain that level across two campaigns?`

A relatively quiet summer in the transfer market means that a fairly shallow squad must cope with a combination of the physical exertions Guardiola`s style of play demands, the loss of Keita and Toure to the African Nations cup in January and the distractions of a World Cup on the horizon – not to mention an all out assault from a re-invigorated Real Madrid. Eto`o had his flaws, but Barcelona have effectively sold 30 goals a season and replaced them with an untested player in La Liga who will perform a very different role to the Cameroon striker. Ibrahimovic will at least provide a plan B and the wide players now have a target man...but different options sometimes require a different system and it is a very bold coach who tampers with a winning formula.

Deportivo la Coruna (Last season 7th)

A serious lack of funding and crippling debts means Depor start this season weaker than the last. The loss of playmaker Joan Verdú to Espanyol is a major blow and with Julian de Guzman and Pablo Amo both going to Zaragoza, coach Miguel Angel Lotina has been left with little to smile about looking at their modest replacements – defensive midfielder Juliano Roberto Antonello `Juca`, a free signing from Partizan Belgrade perhaps the best of a mediocre bunch of additions that predominantly features players returning from loan spells elsewhere (Adrian, who spent last season at Malaga, appears a decent striking prospect for the future). However, Depor still have enough quality in players like Riki, Guardado and Angel Lafita to finish in the top half of the table.

Espanyol (Last season 10th)
The Barcelona-based club`s start to the season has been overshadowed by the sudden death of captain, Dani Jarque. Much depends on how everyone at the club responds to this tragedy, but if they can pick themselves up quickly enough and possibly even use Jarque`s memory as extra motivation, then there are plenty of reasons for the fans to remain optimistic.

The move to a new stadium will give the club confidence after years spent at a ground that never quite felt like home. A new arena can often impact negatively on performances as teams take time to settle in, but unlike many clubs that move to a new ground, this is something that the fans desperately wanted and they may need little time to make it their own and turn it into a fortress. If they can do that, then a crop of decent summer signings should help Pochettino`s side build upon their excellent run of form toward the end of last season and we should not see a repeat of last seasons flirt with relegation: far from it.

They have held on to Raul Tamudo, Luis García, Ivan de la Peña and Carlos Kameni, while new additions Ben Sahar (Chelsea) and Celtic star Shunsuke Nakamura will be familiar to viewers in Britain. Juan Verdu is expected to provide the creativity that should help the side improve upon last season`s low goal tally.

Getafe (Last season 17th)
The club from the outskirts of Madrid narrowly avoided the drop on the last day of last season and fans should not be expecting a repeat of the over-achievements of previous seasons. Michel took over from Victor Munoz with just five games to go last term and managed to steady the ship just in time following an alarming run of form.

However, while the former Real Madrid player likes to get his teams playing attractive football, his record at Rayo Vallecano and his results in charge of Real`s B team, Castilla, put his long term prospects in doubt. Oscar Ustari is a player worth watching after the promising young keeper missed most of last season through injury, and alongside a new left back, Mane from Almeria, the defence should be improved upon last season. Ikechukwu Uche has gone to Zaragoza, while Esteban Granero has returned to Real Madrid – with Codina and Parejo moving in the opposite direction from the Bernabeu. It is time for Dani Parejo, a promising attacking midfielder, to deliver and it will be good to see him get an opportunity following a loan spell at QPR and a brief stint in the Real Madrid first team squad where he failed to secure a starting place.

Málaga (Last season 8th)
Following promotion last season, Malaga were the surprise package of the campaign, surprising everyone with a highly respectable challenge for European football. Unfortunately, we cannot expect a repeat this season as the manager responsible for that success, coach Antonio Tapia, has left to manage relegated Real Betis. His loss has been compounded by the fact that a further 14 players have followed him out the door: including many of Malaga`s star performers (Duda and Lolo returned to Sevilla following their season-long loans, Nacho went back to Getafe after his loan, Eliseu transferred to Lazio, and Javier Calleja signed for Osasuna).

Thankfully, just as many new recruits have joined the club – some, like Valdo, Munua and Albert Luque are already well known to La Liga watchers – while there are a high number of promising young players who will have to make the grade very quickly if Malaga are to avoid a season long battle against the drop. Forestieri (an Italian U19 international forward), Edinho (Portuguese U21 international forward) and Jordi Pablo are all young recruits with a lot of potential, while Obinna – a lightning quick wing forward on loan from Inter Milan – could be the most exciting to watch if he can find consistency. The man who oversaw Malaga`s promotion last year, Juan Ramón López Muñiz, returns to the helm after a disappointing season at Racing and should be capable of using his stern managerial style to do just enough to ensure Malaga avoid the drop.

Mallorca (Last season 9th)
A fantastic run in the second half of the season saw Mallorca secure a highly respectable mid-table finish last term and one of the smartest coaches around, Gregorio Manzano, deserves a great deal of credit.

However, the club are still a mess off the field and key players have been sold. Playmaker Juan Arango has gone to Borussia Mönchengladbach and the forward who benefitted most from his creativity, Jose Jurado, has returned to Atletico Madrid. Cleber Santana, David Navarro and Lionel Scaloni have also been sold to help the club avoid bankruptcy. Aduriz is also up for sale and if he does stay, Mallorca will be desperate for him to put in another good season and keep scoring the goals if they are to survive. Few of the new additions are an improvement, but Chelsea fans will be familiar with their former academy graduate Sergio Tejera, who has signed a four year deal with Mallorca after impressing on loan.

Osasuna (Last season 14th)
Another team that survived relegation on the final day of last season and they will miss Jaroslav Plasil who moved to Bordeaux in the summer. However, La Liga`s third best defensive unit has remained intact and the teams no nonsense approach and ability to battle it out with the best of them should see them safe, even if they may win few friends along the way. Coach Jose Antonio Camacho`s side may struggle for goals, as they did last season, but at least the loss of Plasil`s creativity down the left flank has been offset by the addition of the Calleja from Malaga and the acquisition of the highly effective Javier Camuñas from Recreativo.

**Beast** · 28th August 2009 01:54 PM

We conclude our A-Z lowdown on all 20 team`s in Spanish Football`s top flight with the first ten in alphabetical order: Racing through to Zaragoza...

Racing Santander (Last season 11th)
Racing were a disappointment last season and underachieved. However, the loss of several key players means that a repeat of that mid table finish this time around should probably be considered a success. One of the best defences in the league has been broken up, Ezequiel Garay and Iván Marcano have both moved on, while the departure of Jonathan Pereira and Nikola Zigic in attack is also a major blow.

The new coach, Carlos Mandía, lacks experience at this level and the prospects are not good for a side that lacks the budget to replace those players who have left. Despite the creativity offered by Munitis, the team will struggle for goals and there will be an awful lot riding on the form of a player familiar to all of us, Luis Garcia, formerly of Liverpool, who joins Racing after failing to hold down a place at Atletico Madrid.

Real Madrid (Last season 2nd)
If Barcelona dominated last season, then Real Madrid have been the team of the summer. During a relatively quiet transfer window there has been more airtime, column inches and webspace dedicated to the return of Florentino Perez and his summer spending spree than the rest of La Liga combined. It is impossible not to look at a side that has added Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaká and Karim Benzema to an attack that scored 83 league goals last season (bettered only by Barcelona) and not fear for La Liga defenders up and down the land.

However, while the fans prepare for a thrill a minute ride throughout the season, the money spent on other areas of the squad could be what really determines Real`s ability to usurp Barcelona this season – that and a healthy dose of patience. If the previous Galactico era floundered without a solid spine and cover in defense, then lessons have been learned this time around. The acquisitions of Raúl Albiol and Álvaro Arbeloa are shrewd and the re-call of Ezequiel Garay means there is plenty of talent at the back. This Real Madrid no longer has a soft centre and with Lass Diarra competing for a place with his namesake in the middle, the most important signing could prove to be the last one: Xabi Alonso. The former Liverpool midfielder could be the glue that holds it all together. Manuel Pellegrini is an excellent coach and the former Villarreal manager will have the side playing attractive football, but he faces an impossible task of matching results with massive expectation, and he will need his side to come flying out of the traps.

Sevilla (Last season 3rd)
Few expected Manolo Jimenez to still be at the club beyond the end of last season, but a third placed finish ensured that the club kept faith with a coach who, intriguingly, had few supporters amongst the fans. That continuity, combined with some decent acquisitions in the summer, means that they look even stronger than last season and there is no reason why Sevilla cannot finish top of those teams challenging for a the runners-up spots and Champions League football at the end of the season.

They have added Sergio Sanchez to the second best defence in La Liga – although Mosquera has moved on – and given themselves further options in midfield by recalling Duda and Lolo from loan. Didier Zokora from Tottenham will provide further defensive options in the middle and the attack has been bolstered by the club`s record signing Alvaro Negredo. The target man scored 19 goals at Almeria last season and will provide an excellent alternative to Kanoute. And perhaps the most important bit of transfer news? Sevilla have managed to retain the services of Luis Fabiano, making them a very strong side in all departments.

Sporting Gijón (Last season 16th)
It`s very hard to be optimistic about a side that avoided relegation on the final day and shipped 79 goals last season, the worst defensive record in La Liga. Coach Manolo Preciado has used the transfer market to shore up that defence, but most neutrals will be hoping that he sticks to a gung-ho approach that entertained fans up and down the land.

Sporting played every game to win and subsequently drew just one match all season. None of the defensive recruits - Joni López, Grégory Arnolin or Alberto Botía – bring enough experience to make a huge difference, but with a goalscoring record that is good enough for a top half finish, combined with a terrific support, Sporting should have enough to avoid relegation and keep us entertained for a while longer.

Tenerife (Promoted)

After eight years away from the top flight, the team from the Canary Islands will be reliant upon last season`s top goalscorer, Nino (Juan Francisco Martinez), to keep them up. He found the back of the net 29 times in the second division last season, but his previous experience in the first division was less prosperous: he was relegated with Levante and managed just one goal in 19 games. Of the club`s new signings, the most notable is Alfaro who spent last season on loan with Tenerife and alongside Nino formed the second best partnership in the second division, scoring 49 of Tenerife`s 79 goals between them. Sevilla had recalled forward from his loan spell this summer, but the capture of Negredo meant that the 23 year old Alfaro was surplus to requirements and has returned to Tenerife.

Coach José Luis Oltra led his side to within just one point of the second division title last season, but clearly survival is the priority this term.

Valencia (Last season 6th)

We could be talking about a team that pushes for one of the runners-up spots, finishing in a Champions League placing, or a club that self implodes: it`s impossible to predict. On the surface, looking at the squad, we are talking about one of the best teams in La Liga. Somehow, David Villa, David Silva and Juan Mata are still at the club and aside from the sale of Raul Albiol, we are looking at essentially the same team as last season – where a one dimensional / slow paced centre of midfield remains the weakness. A lot also depends upon the reactions of Villa and Silva to the situation, but with a world cup looming, it is hoped that both will quickly focus on simply going about their business.

The key signing is goalkeeper Miguel Ángel Moyá: Valencia have struggled to find a regular, reliable stopper since Canizares retired and the €6 million recruit from Mallorca should keep Cesar out of the side. Financially, a stay of execution somehow appears to have been put in place for the time being, but Unai Emery can lead Valencia to a top four finish if – and only if – the club can find some institutional stability and keep the creditors at bay.

Valladolid (Last season 15th)

Jose Luis Mendilibar will have his work cut out with a team that has avoided relegation on the final day three seasons in a row. However, last season`s 11 match winless streak has prompted a major squad overhaul in the summer, with some 15 players coming in and 15 going the other way.

Sergio Asenjo was the big future hope for Valladolid and the keeper hotly tipped to succeed Iker Casillas in goal for Spain joined Atletico Madrid for a relatively modest €5.5 million, while top goalscorer Henok Goitom has joined Almeria. However, there are some interesting new recruits, among them Manucho, the Manchester United striker who spent last season on loan at Hull, as well as a number of young players who have promised much, but are yet to deliver: including 22-year-old right back Antonio Barragán from Deportivo La Coruña, 25-year-old attacking midfielder Héctor Font from Osasuna, 21-year-old central midfielder Pelé from FC Porto and latterly, Sisi who has returned after spending last season at Recreativo.

Mendilibar is a good coach and is capable of getting the best from this crop of young players, if he can, he will have the platform for a decent side in the future, but he faces a long hard struggle before he can get there.

Villarreal (Last season 5th)

In many ways, a team that has been so familiar to all of us has suddenly become a bit of an unknown quantity, because so much of what Villarreal are about is down to Manuel Pellegrini. The new Real Madrid coach took control of Villarreal in 2004 and transformed them from relegation candidates to Champions league regulars. His successor, former Espanyol boss Ernesto Valverde has a very tough act to follow, not least in term of results, but in imposing his will upon a team that so strongly identifies with his predecessor.

Outside Spain, Villarreal`s record signing Nilmar from Brazilian club Internacional for €11 million, has grabbed the headlines, but the most important new signing is that of Racing Santander youth product Iván Marcano for €6 million. The Villarreal defence were a little suspect at times last season and exposed in the absence of Marcos Senna through injury, and the capture of centre back Marcano, who can play at left back as well and was one of the revelations of last season, is a very good signing and one to watch for the future. Valverde has the players at his disposal, and if he can get them performing, they should finish somewhere near the top.

Xerez (Last season promoted)
Prospects are fairly bleak for a side that started pre-season with just 13 players on its books and only managed to secure a coach at the last minute. Jose Angel Ziganda certainly has his work cut out at a club that has been making the headlines for all the wrong reasons: alleged financial improprieties and a president arrested following a shoot-out in a brothel.

On the pitch, forward Antoñito, Mario Bermejo and Momo managed 43 goals between them in the second division last season and they will need to repeat those figures in the top flight if they are to stand any chance whatsoever. The defence has been strengthened by the loan signings of Aythami from Deportivo La Coruña and David Prieto from Sevilla, while Barcelona`s Víctor Sánchez from Barcelona will provide cover in front of the back four.

Perhaps the most important signing is the man who is likely to be busier than any other player in the squad – and Renan, the goalkeeper, from Valencia will certainly have plenty of opportunities to restore his reputation if nothing else. They are still ridiculously short of players and almost certainties to go straight back down.

Zaragoza (Last season promoted)

Relegated in the 2006/07 season, Zaragoza have bounced straight back under Marcelino, one of the most highly rated young coaches in Spain. Peter Luccin has been brought in to replace the only notable departure, defensive midfielder Alberto Zapater who left for Genoa for €4.5 million, and the continuity should mean they can hit the ground running and start the season as they left off, unlike many of their rivals who have all suffered major upheaval. They have kept hold of Ewerthon, who scored an impressive twenty-eight goals in thirty-six appearances last season, and added €5.5 million signing from Getafe, Ikechukwu Uche.

However, from a British perspective the most notable acquisition is Jermaine Pennant. It was a surprise move for a player who confessed to us on Revista last season that he had ambitions of playing in Spain. He certainly has the talent to succeed and this could be the perfect stage for him to finally fulfill his potential. Of the three newly promoted sides, Zaragoza are favourites to stick around could possibly even secure a top half finish.

**Beast** · 29th August 2009 09:08 AM

Barça Still The Team To Beat In La Liga
Posted 28/08/09

With la Liga set to kick off in its own good time thank-you very much this weekend, the moment has come for every man, woman and child to take a stand.

Are you East 17 or Take That? Golden Wonder or Walkers? Leg or breast? Real Madrid or Barcelona?

Will it be our charidee-loving-but-don't-like-to-talk-about-it, home-grown, all-conquering buddies from Barcelona raising the league title trophy, come May?

Or is it as inevitable as a bankruptcy at Valencia that the millions of euros blown by Florentino Pérez will reap an immediate reward?

The first thing to note amongst all the hustle and bustle surrounding Real Madrid, these days, is that history won't necessarily repeat itself with the club's Galactico Reboot.

The current Bernabeu side finds itself in very different circumstances from the version that span so entertainingly out of control, some six years ago.

For starters, Manuel Pellegrini is a far shrewder and more competent manager than the likes of Carlos Queiroz. The standard of squad is significantly better than that of Florentino's first reign which saw the Zidanes and Pavones/superstars and saps policy.

Quite simply, there are too many 'top, top' players in the Bernabeu ranks and too much evidence in pre-season to suggest that Real Madrid's footballing wet dream will completely fail. Not that Cristiano Ronaldo has been much cop to date, it must be noted. "I'm not worried," shrugged the under performing poser, who is still working out what level of diving he can get away with in his new domain.

But all this doesn't necessarily mean that Madrid will be good enough to overhaul a still brilliant Barcelona who can simply pick up from where they left off last season - a luxury not shared by their Real rivals.

So far, the treble winners have only made one major addition to their squad, the somewhat controversial purchase of Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Pep Guardiola - who has earned the right to the benefit of the doubt - sees the Swedish striker as Barça's much-needed 'Plan B' if their normal pretty-passing, fancy-dan ways fail to land a punch.

The former Inter Milan man's height, physical presence and superb technique is set to be a more than useful addition to Barcelona's armoury, even if the 60 million euros price and loss of Samuel Eto'o raised a few eyebrows around the world. Indeed, some of them have yet to come down in Cataluyna.

Should either Madrid or Barcelona stumble in the new season - in the 'drop 50 points' sense of the word 'stumble' - then Villarreal are perhaps best placed to take advantage.

Manuel Pellegrini's replacement, Ernesto Valverde, is part of a generation of talented Spanish coaches coming through the ranks and was a popular choice to move Villarreal up a gear and win a first trophy for the club. And there's every chance of Valverde succeeding, with the coach having picked up the domestic double with Olympiakos last season, as well as managing a UEFA cup final appearance with Espanyol in 2007.

Sevilla are set to be solid but unspectacular once again. The Andalusian side's main move in the transfer market was to snatch forward Alvaro Negredo from Phil Brown's clutches and give the Madrid man Champions League football straight away, something he may not have had in Hull for a year or two. But Negredo will have to fight for a spot up front with the still brilliant Freddie Kanouté and Brazilian international Luis Fabiano.

Atlético Madrid should also be challenging for the Champions League places once again, now that they have managed to keep the outstanding pair of Kun Agüero and Diego Forlán together. Nevertheless, the rojiblancos will need to avoid the tickish temptation to fire their coach over the next nine months and experiment with the concept of sense and stability for the first time in the club's life.

A tilt for the top four spaces cannot be ruled out for Valencia who have fought against the laws of economics to keep hold most of their stars, despite sitting pretty in a debt of up to 600 million euros.

Further down la Primera and it's a truly sorry story for much of la Liga's clubs due to the appalling financial climate of the country being mirrored in the game in Spain. Cash transfers have been all too rare with loans, swaps and freebies very much en vogue.

Some fourteen clubs could either be sitting pretty in mid-table at the end of the season or in the drop zone. But the side who should be most concerned ahead of the new campaign are newly promoted Xerez - a genuine basket case of an institution that are tipped by many local pundits to be one of the worst teams in top flight history.

Almería will struggle to survive after the loss of Negredo, whose goals kept them up over the past two seasons and Mallorca's financial troubles mean that their squad is beyond the bare bones stage and is now a mere wisp of DNA to be scooped up and popped into a test tube by some CSI minion.

This season will be a crucial one in Spain on a marketing level. It has been a long time since la Liga has received so much global attention. But this means that it will have to deliver the shocks and surprises currently being offered up by an interesting balanced Premier League.

But this is unlikely to occur with what is set to be nine months of Barcelona and Real Madrid stomping on every other club like ants with the winner being the one who drops the least amount of silly points.

La Primera may currently be the most glamorous league in the world, but it is far from being the most competitive. And that will only change if some top-flight sides step up their game and prove that money definitely can't buy success.

However, a league that can boast Benzema and Messi, Kaká and Ronaldo, Villa and Xavi - not to mention Jermaine Pennant - is always going to be worth watching from time to time.

Tim Stannard

**Beast** · 31st August 2009 01:37 PM

LA LIGA REVIEW
Nothing succeeds like excess
By Phil Ball
(Archive)
September 1, 2009

Hello there. Nice to be back from the deserts of Arabia, although mentally speaking the whole La Liga thing never really went away. You can attempt a de-tox from Spanish football, but I'm not really sure that it works.

Then again, I could have been returning sluggishly to another season in which the image and status of Spanish football had taken another slide backwards, in thrall to the Premier League and even beginning to worry about the Italians. Not a hope of that, thanks largely to Barcelona's superhuman deeds last season and Florentino Pérez's one-man mission to re-focus the world's attention directly onto the Bernabéu and indirectly onto the league in which his latest set of toys are about to play.

As Oscar Wilde sort of said, it doesn't matter what they're saying about you, just as long as they're talking about you. He also quipped that nothing succeeds like excess, and there you have the Spanish summer, soaked in sun and spending.

You really didn't expect this comeback column to not mention Real Madrid? I got back from Qatar in early July, and within two weeks was in Madrid talking to the taxi drivers, the newspaper vendors, some people at the club (although they always tell you less) and the pigeons, who also had lots to say. The circus was in town, and it looks likely to remain for some time to come.

Apart from that, Real Madrid have spent the last month desperately attempting to reduce their over-stocked squad whilst Barça have been caught between attempting to ignore their rivals, carp at them occasionally from the sidelines, or make a few splashes themselves - swapping Eto'o for Ibrahimovic but failing to land either David Villa or Ribery, players that have both been very much in the orbit of Madrid too. Ribery continues to make noises (mostly grunts) from the direction of the east, but is unlikely to make it over to Madrid this season now, despite the arrival of Robben at Bayern and continued rumours over the eventual destination of poor Van der Vaart.

What else has happened? Well, Usain Bolt looks to have a decent left foot on him, if the saque de honor on Saturday night at the Bernabéu was anything to go by. Nobody had told him that you were just supposed to give it a granny tap a few metres forward, as per convention. Instead, he sent a shot flying through the air that just missed the post, rather like his new mate Ronaldo contrived to do various times throughout the 3-2 win against Deportivo. Bolt's faster than Ronaldo. Perhaps they should sign him too.

Barça were of course in Monaco on Friday night adding yet another trophy to their groaning shelves but taking rather longer over it than they might have wished, Shakhtar Donetsk proving to be rather more durable than Manchester United had been three months before. They play Sporting at home on the Monday night, given the weekend to rest off their fatigue from the effects of Monaco's dreadful pitch and the post-match celebrations.

Last season Barça got off to a flyer, losing away to Numancia in a defeat that incorrectly masked the season that was to subsequently enfold. If they stumble to Sporting in their bow this season, it should be taken with an equal pinch of salt. Rumbles over Puyol's stalling at a new contract notwithstanding, the squad looks smallish but awesome. They've also added Chygryskly from Shakhtar for good measure, obviously with an eye to keeping the defence secure when the African Cup of Nations takes away Touré and Keita.

In Monaco, Ibrahimovic played awfully, but not too much should be read into that. It is rather curious, nevertheless, that Pep Guardiola should have got rid of Eto'o in the final analysis because there was no 'feeling', to use his diplomatic phrase. What he meant was that he didn't really like Eto'o, and that he thought he was a troublesome presence in the changing-room. Interesting then, that he swapped him for a chap whose reputation for histrionics and dodgy declarations is similarly well-developed. I'm not sure about the signing, and it's unclear as yet whether the Swede will fit into the system, so well-oiled but to some extent proscribed on Eto'o's unselfish and constant movement. David Villa might have suited them better, and Madrid's alternative swoop for Karim Benzema looks like being a smart move. He's looked the part in pre-season, he's young and he's hungry.

Talking of David Villa, perhaps the oddest thing that happened all summer was that he stayed put at Valencia, with seemingly the whole cosmos after his signature. The indirect consequences of this have been enormous, but Valencia are not complaining. He did want to go, had announced as much, but circumstances just didn't work out the way they seemed to be going. The €40m price tag was hardly excessive, but it seemed that the little guy just didn't want to go to England anyway, once the options of Barça and Madrid were closed. He remains probably the world's best centre-forward, a highly intelligent and adaptable player whose presence should at least secure Valencia a European top-six finish by the end of the season, despite the continued off-the-pitch upheavals. David Silva is still there too, as is the splendid Juan Mata and the always possibly splendid Joaquín.

Is this season going to be anything other than a two-horse race, and even if it is, does it matter? Probably not. It's going to be entertaining watching Real Madrid suffer as they try to put the new project to immediate work, and equally interesting to see if Barça can sustain the levels of brilliance attained last season. It's not really a case of them failing if they don't win the triple again, but as more recent history will tend to bear witness, football systems do not last long in the post-modern age. Someone will find a way to play Barça, and others will try to follow suit.

Those of you who have watched Spanish football for some years now will be lightly amused by the recent revelations that Iniesta and Xavi are great players. Wayne Rooney said the former was the best in the world, which was a little bit rich, but these two guys have been around for some time now. That the pluck of Europe's journalists took so long to notice them was odd, to say the least. But now that they have, they will become part of the conspiracy to topple them, to find them out. Both of them are liable to injury too, and the sensation that too much depends on their functioning - Messi or no Messi - could tip the scales in Madrid's favour this year.

Nobody can annul Messi, of course. With him it's just a case of damage limitation, of attempting to marginalize his presence on the ball. But Barça might become victims of their recent successes, nevertheless. It remains to be seen, but when I asked the journalist galáctico, Santiago Segurola, what he thought of the two-horse race this season, this is what he had to say: "Madrid have signed so many fantastic players that the project can hardly fail. You suspect that they're going to win something. And more importantly, they will probably play badly for quite some time, but they will still have enough individual talent to win their games. Barcelona on the other hand, need to play well to win. It's a great virtue, but a potential weakness as well. If they play poorly, they lose."

Well I wouldn't have quoted that, except that it more or less describes what happened against Deportivo this weekend. Going forward they looked very good, but there was still some alarming fragility at the back. Both Kaká and Ronaldo suffered from the "I'd better stand out" syndrome, and tried to do too much, but it was entertaining fare nevertheless.

The defence will improve considerably when Pepe has served out the last four games of his eternal suspension, and the return of Sergio Ramós will be good news too, despite his occasional wobbles. And anyway, the best player on the park was Lass Diarra, who only on Sunday asked folks not to call him the new Makelele, but he's too late. Despite all the noisier riches on show, it may well be he and Xabi Alonso who will set the tone and mark the rhythms of this new Real Madrid, this new concept of an Alpha team collected together in one fell swoop.

Does anyone else merit a mention, at least in the context of this first discussion? Atlético Madrid, like Valencia, have managed to hang on to their best players (Forlan, Agüero, Maxi, et al) but there is little reason to assume that their volatile form of last year will radically change. They also have the rigours of the Champions League to face, but you'd expect them to be in the running, at least until Christmas.

Sevilla? They've added Negredo from Real Madrid, but not much else. They still have some fine players, but the balance of the side looks insufficient for them to mount a really serious challenge. Villarreal? If Senna stays fit then the loss of their best-ever manager might not count for too much, especially if this Nilmar chap turns out to be any good. They still have a quality squad, but it's hard to see any other side outside of this cabal making anything of a splash.

The newly promoted teams, Xerez, Tenerife and Zaragoza are unlikely to surprise, although the latter are best equipped to stay up. Indeed, they were the only one of the three to win this weekend, beating fellow promotion friends Tenerife 1-0. Jermaine Pennant made his debut for the home team, just to give La Liga some English presence for the day.

Anyway, don't write in just yet to complain that I haven't mentioned your team. It's a long season, as they say. I'm still getting my bearings too. Nice to be back though. Sunday nights sin teclado just weren't the same.

-------------------------
It's so good to read a review by Ball again .. hope he come back from the sabbatical

**Beast** · 3rd September 2009 08:28 AM

La Liga’s Good Day, Bad Day - Round One

Tim Stannard
Tuesday 01 September 2009 14:00
GOOD DAY

Getafe

Thought that La Liga Loca was bluffing when it predicted that Getafe would spend the season chasing the Big Two like a particularly terrier-like terrier? Reckoned that the blog was merely having a jolly jape at the outrageous notion?

Oh no. La Liga Loca was all with the Richie Edwards carving ‘4-Real’ into his arm with its sensational declaration. And for proof, just look at the 4-1 thrashing of Racing on Sunday afternoon.

Three goals from Roberto Soldado - the first of his 47 this season; an outstanding display from Zelda-from-Terrahawks-in-a-Guns-n’-Roses-Slash-wig Dani Parejo; and a safe display from keeper Oscar Ustari.

Surely a sign of an incredible campaign to come from the mighty Getafe. Or that Racing are really, really, really really shi[Woah there – Ed.]

José Guardado

On Sunday, both Marca and AS were under the impression that it was Raúl who was the bestest ever player on the pitch in the Madrid vs Depor clash, what with his one-yard super strike and penalty-winning tumble.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. It was Deportivo’s Guardado with a very welcome return to form. In his first season in La Coruña the poodle-haired midfielder was outstanding, but went off the boil a little last year.

But at the Bernabeu, the Mexican international was in fine fettle, whipping in crosses up front and pegging it back to help double-up on Cristiano Ronaldo.

Barcelona

Monday’s Camp Nou clash against Sporting was exactly the type of match where Pep’s Dream Boys will be looking to rest some of the first-teamers and still cruise to a comfortable win.

The Catalan club began without Diego Messi (whose priorities this week are Argentinian), Andres Iniesta, Thierry Henry, Eric Abidal and Yaya Touré. But the likes of the increasingly impressive Pedro did the Barça business in a 3-0 win.

Real Madrid

Well, they didn’t lose. Instead, Madrid came away with three points from a fixture the side should always win, no matter who plays for them.

Former president Ramón Calderón almost made it into the Bad Day section; with memories still fresh of having a Nicolas Cage impersonator as his guest of honour at the Bernabeu, this time it's mad-as-a-plate-of-spanners Usain Bolt who kicked off the top-flight season at the Bernabeu on Saturday night.

Arjen Robben

Not technically in la Liga, but a fine middle finger to Jorge Valdano with two strikes for Bayern on Saturday, the second of which was a link-up with Frank Ribery. And with his right foot!

Riki, Arizmendi

A big ‘balls-to-you’ to La Liga Loca with the two worst strikers in the world scoring for Deportivo and Zaragoza respectively. The latter gave his side a winning start to the season with a booted effort in a goalmouth scramble.

Málaga

Looked like a CGI-generated flesh-stripping goblin army in Sunday's 3-0 victory over Atlético. Málaga’s players tirelessly swarmed over the Rojiblancos whenever the opposition side had the ball. A promising start to the campaign.

Ricardo

So often pants-poor, the Osasuna keeper kept Villarreal out in a 1-1 draw.

Iker Munian

After a lifesaving strike in the UEFA Cup qualifying rounds, this wee young scamp made his league debut for Athletic Bilbao this weekend and looks quite a prospect at just 16.

Defeated Espanyol manager Pochettino claimed that the nifty-on-the-ball attacking midfielder was “a player to get people out of their seats.” Presumably not in the Lady Gago "If he's playing for Madrid, I'm not paying for it" going-home-now sense.

Ever Banega

With big boss man Ruben Baraja out injured, it was Ever Banega who surprised a few by starting in Valencia’s defeat of Sevilla – and by putting in a fine performance that included the setting up the Mestalla men’s second strike.

BAD DAY

Racing Santander

Already neck and neck with Abel Resino of Atlético in the sack race, Racing coach Juan Carlos Mandía declared after his 4-1 tanking by Getafe that “it may not appear to be that way, but the game was fairly even.”

A few megabytes short of a download, thinks the carefully stepping-away La Liga Loca...

Atlético Madrid

...and that’s exactly the reason why Atleti are so cherished and loved by all who watch la Liga.

In the first match of last season, the Rojiblancos beat Malaga 4-0. One year later, they lose to them in a result that raised a titter all over Spain. Except among those of the Rojiblanco persuasion, perhaps.

Coach Abel Resino looks set to leave the handy José Jurado on the bench in this season, persisting with the distinctly defensive Raul García as his creative hub alongside Cleber Santana or Assunçao. Unfortunately, it’s like asking Spanish TV to make a funny sitcom.

Here’s Iñako Díaz-Guerra of AS is to explain why (not about the sitcoms): “The formula for beating Atleti is not so complicated: leave the ball for them in the centre of their midfield and wait for someone to do something. It’s like waiting for Godot: nothing will happen.”

Xerez, Tenerife

A losing start for two of this season’s promoted clubs. There will be scraps of optimism in the camps, though, as both sides created chances, even if they couldn't take advantage of them.

The authorities decided to welcome Xerez to the top flight in style, with two sendings-off for yellow card offences by the nit-picking clown of a referee.
Freddie Kanouté

The Sevilla striker definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed with a bloodthirsty performance to pick up two yellows for dirty play.

Alvaro Negredo was another to have a hard time of it against Valencia in a comedy two-minute period where he was booted in the back, clothes-lined and hacked in the knee.

---------------------------------------------

All Hot And Not Bothered In Spain...
Posted 31/08/09

Tim Stannard

It's a blooming good job that la Liga now has a fortnight's rest after just its first round of action, because that's how long most of the poor buggers who took part in it are going to need to recover from the ordeal.

In an idea blasted by a splendidly sarcastic Marca as 'brilliant' with its origins from 'a feverish mind' according to El País, five of la Primera's ten matches kicked off at 5pm on Sunday afternoon with the temperatures still in the late 30s.

So it was no wonder that barely 11,000 sun-stroked supporters turned up to watch Mallorca's 2-0 win over newly-promoted Xerez or that the Athletic Bilbao and Espanyol footballers may have conspired to play their entire match on the near side of the stadium in the welcoming shadow of the San Mamés arc.

The Powers-that-Be running the Spanish game claim that the death-tempting start times that would have had a boiling Bear Grylls squeezing fluid from Kaká's kaka after just five minutes were due to television scheduling reasons.

This was almost understandable as an excuse if it weren't for the fact that two of those encounters did not have their broadcast rights confirmed until 40 minutes before kick-off.

One of those to get going in temperatures so oppressive General Rommel would have called off the whole war business was Málaga welcoming Atlético Madrid and spanking them 3-0 in a game where rojiblanco manager Abel Resino had claimed beforehand that his team "were ready".

To an extent they were ready. Ready to show, once again, that no matter what defender Atlético sign, they immediately turn to crap as soon as they put on a red-and-white shirt.

Left back Antonio López is a fine player in theory and a former Spanish international. However, the new club captain was AWOL for two of Málaga's strikes on Sunday afternoon. Reapplying his sun block perhaps.

Everton target Johnny Heitinga was the Eredivisie's footballer of the year before moving to the Vicente Calderón from Ajax last summer. Now he plays like he's downed a bottle of pre-match Malibu and strapped on some roller skates.

Fellow Madridileños Getafe had a little bit more luck than their city rivals and thrashed Racing Santander 4-1 away from home after a hat-trick from Roberto Soldado. The victory puts the mighty capital club on top of the first league table, all-be-it with Barcelona to play on Monday night having been in action in the European Super cup on Friday.

Their late, late 1-0 victory over Shakhtar saw Pep Guardiola's men pick up their second trophy of the season having won the Spanish Super cup just a few days before.

But the first round of the self-proclaimed 'greatest league in the world' began in an uncomfortably humid Santiago Bernabeu stadium with Real Madrid facing Deportivo, a side who were expected to do the footballing equivalent of roll over and let their tummies be tickled.

Manager Miguel Angel Lotina promised that his players would "go onto the pitch standing tall and leave standing tall" and he was true to his word in a narrow 3-2 defeat that showed how much work still has to be done by Manuel Pellegrini before Madrid can describe themselves as a team.

There were flashes of what is to come in the attacking elements of the home side's game. But there were also plenty of warning signs at the back with a defence that reacts like women to a wasp whenever a ball was lobbed into their box.

However, the crowd got to gurgle and clap like simpletons at unnecessary step-overs from Cristiano Ronaldo and applaud a one-yard tap-in from Raúl that gave fawning sports daily, AS, the excuse to write that the captain was 'still the king' on their front page on Sunday.

Hot on the heels, in a very literal sense, from the Bernabeu on Saturday night, it was Jermaine Pennant's debut in Zaragoza's opener against Tenerife, another promoted club.

And by all accounts the Englishman did just fine with some nice runs down the right and the odd dangerous cross lobbed in to help his new buddies to a 1-0 win.

The biggest match of the round was an impressive Valencia beating a ten-man Sevilla 2-0 on a Mestalla pitch that was completely destroyed by the sun over the pre-season and now needs to be relaid - an expense that the cash-strapped club can ill-afford.

The game also saw the sending-off of the normally placid as a piece of pacifist pie, Freddie Kanouté, for two yellow cards. The first was for an arm striking opposition full-back Bruno whilst jumping for the ball and the second for a high tackle on Carlos Marchena - a filthy footballer who deserves every boot in the balls that every comes his way.

The insanely high temperatures, players saving themselves for the international fixtures to come (yes, you Atlético) and the two-week gap means that the league's first round of action was always going to be a phoney war.

There were no 'Everton are doomed!', 'Arsenal are the Champions!', 'Fergie's lost it!' hysterical conclusions to be taken from the first-round ties. Instead, it was the belated realisation that football in August doesn't really work as a concept in still-sticky Spain.

Round 1 Results

Real Madrid 3-2 Deportivo
Zaragoza 1-0 Tenerife
Athletic 1-0 Espanyol
Mallorca 2-0 Xerez
Osasuna 1-1 Villarreal
Racing 1-4 Getafe
Málaga 3-0 Atlético Madrid
Valencia 2-0 Sevilla
Almería 0-0 Valladolid
Barcelona - Sporting (Monday)

**Beast** · 3rd September 2009 08:30 AM

Real Madrid's new galáctico era has arrived. Well, sort of ...

Sid Lowe
Madrid were promising rather than perfect, wobbly rather than woeful, and a little disjointed rather than disastrous

It didn't have a whore for a mother, golden goolies or the Almighty in a loincloth, but it would do. For now. For everyone. Two months and over €250m later, Real Madrid's new galácticos finally made their grand entrance, defeating Deportivo de La Coruña 3-2 at the Santiago Bernabéu. The Second Coming at last came, to a backdrop of cigar smoke and sweltering heat, Pavarotti and Plácido Domingo, satisfying everyone and satisfying no one. It was good, but not as good as they hoped in the capital; it was bad, but not as bad as they wanted in Catalonia. And in the end it left pretty much everyone seeing what they wanted to see and drawing their own conclusions – pretty much the conclusions they'd already decided to draw. Pretty much the conclusions they always draw.

Luis Figo made his La Liga debut for Madrid and got an 85th-minute winner against Valencia. Zidane lost against the same opponents, panic in his eyes, bruises on his shins, as he asked team-mates "is it always going to be like this?". Ronaldo cracked his head on the dugout and scored within a minute of coming on against Alavés, sending giggling team-mates even more giddy. And it took Beckham only 70 seconds more to score against Betis. On Saturday night, Kaká and Cristiano Ronaldo made their La Liga debuts and while Kaká didn't score, Cristiano did.

Thing is, it was a penalty – and that was somehow appropriate. It was a brilliant penalty, struck so well that Depor keeper Dani Aranzubía went the right way but still had no chance, and Ronaldo celebrated it with an oddly endearing, almost childish mix of glee and relief, but … well, it was a penalty. And not even the winning penalty, a dramatic late penalty or a penalty he'd won himself. Which is kind of the point. If you had to sum up the new Madrid's first night in a phrase, their galácticos' performance in two words, the best might just be "sort" and "of". Or maybe "yeah" and "but". Was Kaká impressive? Were Madrid? Sort of. Ronaldo was good, wasn't he? Yeah, but …

They went 1-0 up through Raúl, saw Rikki make it 1-1, went 2-1 up with Ronaldo's penalty, watched Juan Carlos Valerón equalise at the start of the second half, and eventually won 3-2 thanks to Lassana Diarra's second goal in four games – only his second competitive goal ever. At 2-2, Valerón missed a sitter that would have put Depor in the lead and Madrid under real pressure. But if that makes it sound like a fantastically entertaining end-to-end game, with a dramatic finale, it wasn't really. In fact it was all a bit weird, oddly flat. At once good and bad.

It didn't have the impact of Ronaldo's first game, when two goals left Marca declaring "debuta madre!", a cunning pun on the mother of all debuts and "de puta madre" – the phrase that literally means "of a whore mother" but actually means bloody brilliant. Because having a mum on the game is the greatest honour there is. It didn't have the wow factor of Beckham's debut, when Marca described him as a genius and a streaker ran on with a pair of Christmas baubles swinging between his legs and "I'm the real Golden Balls" scrawled across his bare belly. And it didn't have the surprise and sheer, jaw-dropping brilliance of Robinho's debut, when he tore Cádiz a new one to leave AS declaring: "God created Robinho!" Hell, it didn't even have the bizarre slapstick genius of Jonathan Woodgate's opening night, complete with red card, own goal and standing ovation.

But if that sounds like Kaká and Ronaldo were not very good, like Madrid were not impressive, they were. Sort of. There were flashes but not much fluidity, neat plays but not great moves. "Madrid are not a harmonious team but they have so much up their sleeves, they must have very big sleeves," said El País. Not just big sleeves, wizard's sleeves.

Ronaldo appeared overly keen to make every move count – "like an adolescent with his first sexual experience", as David Gistau put it in El Mundo – and even Madrid's director general, Jorge Valdano, admitted that the winger "doesn't need to try to prove who he is every time he gets the ball". But he did frighten Depor when he ran at them. Kaká did not score or control the game, but there were moments of class – as well as one clever assist and two curling shots that went just wide.

It was all a bit sort of; a bit yeah but. Yes, Madrid were promising but they weren't perfect. Yes there were some bad moments at the back but they were hardly torn apart. Yes, Valerón could have won it but Madrid weren't lucky – it never felt like they were as vulnerable as it turned out they actually were, they had 27 shots to Depor's eight, and Iker Casillas didn't make a save. Yes, there were moments from Ronaldo and elegance from Kaká but it was Raúl who scored one and earned the penalty for another, and it was Lass who won it. Yes, they lacked flow but they dominated possession. Madrid were promising rather than perfect, wobbly rather than woeful, and a little disjointed rather than disastrous everywhere else. They were good in patches and bad in others. Which is exactly how it should be. They were after all playing the first game of a new season, a whole new era. It's not just that the jury should be out, it is that they have barely begin considering the evidence.

And yet already the verdicts are in and, what with next week being an international week, they'll linger too. "The magic returns to the Bernabéu," cheered Marca, while one columnist in AS declared: "Kaká produced two moves so elegant it looked like the ball was wearing a bow-tie" and described Ronaldo as "pure electricity", adding: "Ronaldo is the No1 and when luck is with him, he's going to have kids kissing the life-sized poster of him we're giving away in AS." But then, the columnist in question is mad Madridista Tomás Roncero and he would say that. Just as when he says "kids" he means "me". Just as Marca would say that, what with its entire existence being dedicated to getting Florentino Pérez beatified. Just as AS would say: "Raúl is still the king." Just as El Mundo Deportivo, gleefully focussing on Madrid's defensive frailties, would say: "Lucky Madrid beat Depor." And just as Sport, desperately trying to knock down the stars would say: "the only galáctico was Lassana Diarra" and insist: "big names don't make a good team." It may be a new season but some things never change.

Talking points

• Some things definitely don't change. With 40 minutes to go to the start of the new season, no one in the country knew whether Atlético Madrid and Getafe were going to be televised or not. Even though they told us the telly war was over. Which is a pity because they turned out to be on and well worth watching. By then most people had toddled off out to do something else. Getafe amazingly won 4-1 in Santander, with a hat-trick from Roberto Soldado, and Atlético got slaughtered 3-0 in Málaga – a result that Abel Resino put down to playing at 5pm on the Costa del Sol in temperatures way over 35C and everyone else put down to Atléti being rubbish.

• Speaking of the telly, congratulations to Televisión Española who successfully achieved the impossible: managing to make Estudio Estadio even worse.

• The first big clash of the season went Valencia's way. They defeated Sevilla 2-0 on a dreadful pitch, thanks in part to the sending off of Fredi Kanouté. He probably deserved the red card for two bookable offences but there's something just not right about a clash between Carlos Marchena, probably the most evil footballer in the league, and Kanouté, possibly the nicest, ending with the latter getting red carded. Valencia were struggling for a central midfielder to control the game and Unai Emery surprisingly turned to Ever Banega, the man who was supposed to be Everton-bound. Few expected him to run the game but he pulled it off.

• Pennant watch: went off with about 15 minutes to go and shouted "fucking hell" very loudly and angrily, having pulled up with what looked like a groin injury five minutes earlier. Luckily, it doesn't look serious. Played well, too: quick, dangerous and always keen to run at defenders. Keep an eye out for his team-mate Ander Herrera in future, as well.

• Nicely done Nilmar. Valladolid's new signing managed to mark his debut with a red card. After 13 minutes.

Results: Real Madrid 3-2 Deportivo La Coruña, Zaragoza 1-0 Tenerife, Athletic Bilbao 1-0 Espanyol, Málaga 3-0 Atlético Madrid, Mallorca 2-0 Xerez, Osasuna 1-1 Villarreal, Racing Santander 1-4 Getafe, Valencia 2-0 Sevilla, Almeria 0-0 Valladolid. Playing tonight: Barcelona v Sporting Gijón.

**Cule Angles** · 3rd September 2009 09:26 AM

Decent article from Sid, having watched the first 60 minutes of your game when it was repeated on Gol TV last night I kind of agree with his conclusions. Not a bad start for the first meaningful game in all honesty. Having been away in England I can't actually believe that Estudio Estadio has gotten even worse, it was bloody dreadful to begin with, the only way to make it worse would be to stop showing the goals. Expect Atlético to improve their form when they visit the Camp Nou, though since Torres left for Liverpool they've been somewhat easier to get points from.

**Beast** · 7th September 2009 10:30 AM

SPANISH PRIMERA LIGA
The management factor

Phil Ball

All quiet on the Spanish league front this week, with the traditional stop-start beginning to the season dictated by the September wave of World Cup qualifiers. Spain thrashed Belgium 5-0, but that's hardly news. Nobody expected anything else, but the blip at the hands of the USA back in June seems to have had the desired effect, and the team is looking even more awesome than before. Belgium made their contribution to this, and Spain will have harder games to contemplate in the future, but the balance of the side seemed nigh-on perfect.

Xabi Alonso and one of Barça's less celebrated players, Sergio Busquets, were far too much for the Belgian midfield, who toiled with dignity but who lacked any coherent game plan. In contrast, every time Alonso had the ball, there was a dizzying amount of options open to him, such was the movement of the team in general.

With Xavi moved slightly forward of his Barcelona position, Silva running riot and Villa's intelligent holding play up front, it was only a matter of time before Spain opened the floodgates (it took them 40 minutes). Even Piqué got in on the act, scoring a splendid goal and continuing to look a better player than the one who spent a year on the bench at Old Trafford.

Meanwhile, national manager Vicente Del Bosque, every day looking more like a large basset hound, gazed from the touchline with a curiously detached expression, as if he was thinking about what he was going to get for his supper later on. Could my own grandmother manage this team? I think so, although she passed away in 1980.

It did make me wonder a little though, during this weekend respite from the league, about the whole issue of managers, and to what extent they will influence the outcomes of this season's Spanish fare. Besides, over the summer I managed to squeeze in a little reading, taking in 'We are the Damned United' about Brian Clough and Peter Taylor, and Barney Ronay's 'The Manager', which was a very good read.

Ronay's thesis (albeit a bit Brit-centric) is that the post-modern manager represents a gradual shift to a smooth new breed, a kind of guru figure who is possessed not only of man-management skills but also of something more arcane, something a bit 'special', as Mourinho liked to call himself. Wenger comes to mind, as does Pelligrini, Real Madrid's new leader. Florentino Pérez, long an admirer of Wenger, was allegedly convinced to take on Pelligrini after noticing that he bore a certain resemblance to the Arsenal manager, both physically and in his general manner. If you can't get the real one, settle for the one that looks a bit like him.

Also Pep Guardiola, having taken Barcelona to the triple in his first serious season as a manager, is being spoken of now in more mystic terms, as if he possesses these paranormal qualities that other managers just don't have. Poor Mark Hughes at Manchester City may one day cradle the league trophy under his arms, but nobody will ever consider him to be 'special'. He remains a 'manager' in the literal sense of the word. But we do seem to be moving into an era in which the man at the helm of the squad is expected to be so much more than before manager, charismatic demagogue, guru, witty sound-bite provider, father figure, media-savvy and economist. No wonder they get paid so much.

It follows from this that the old paternalistic figures from the quarries of the working-class the Bill Shankly, Jock Stein and Brian Clough types from the British scene, are being replaced by a new breed of more cerebral types, possessed of digital competence and the latest in fancy diets. Their UEFA badges gleam from their navy-blue jackets like medals from the war. Sir Alex Ferguson, and perhaps Harry Redknapp, are the last of the old guard, and even they have been persuaded (reluctantly you feel) to take on some of the characteristics of the new wave.

In Spain, the contrast has never quite been of this order. Miguel Muñoz, who still holds the record number of titles for a manager in Spain (9) was with Real Madrid before as a player, and belongs to a certain 'family' idea here, where celebrated players are sought after to continue an unbroken line of happy association with their club. Johan Cruyff is another obvious example, and Di Stéfano also returned to manage the club he revolutionised as a player. José Antonio Camacho returned twice to Real Madrid as manager, but never quite made it there for various reasons. He managed the national side and is now in the hot seat at Osasuna, but he is still the face of the more traditional Spanish manager, all balls, bluster and armpit stains.

For the Spanish working-classes, a collective now as difficult to define as in any other modern European country, the buzzword of the past was carácter. This noun describes a person who talks loudly and with conviction (not necessarily with intelligence) and who will probably end an argument by thumping his or her opponent. There is still a certain generation of football nostalgics who go all misty-eyed when they recall Camacho's tackle on Cruyff, the season after the Dutchman had contributed to Real Madrid's most humiliating home defeat in the history of el clásico.

The young Camacho almost put Cruyff into the stands with a sliding tackle of X-rated ferocity, and their subsequent management styles came to mirror the differences between them. Cruyff was working-class too, but as a manager he was innovative and a risk-taker. His control-freak tendencies, well documented by certain ex-players of that Dream Team period, are a testament to the fact that he was not in the guru mould, but he was certainly something different.

Of course, Spain has always been more open to foreign influence on its football than has Britain, for example. This is only natural, given that the Brits started it all and exported it all, but remained reluctant to let any suspicious-looking foreigners tamper with their national product. Even after the trauma of the Wembley fiasco in 1953 against the Hungarians, foreign management was still not seen as an option.

Contrast this with the amount of post-war managers in Spain who came from foreign shores, bringing their expertise and differing perspectives. Barça brought over the (in)famous Helenio Herrera in 1959, when the English were still running around in loin-cloths, wielding their dinosaur bones. Indeed, of the top ten title winners in Spanish management, only Muñoz, Luis Molowny and Rafa Bentiez figure as Spaniards.

Looking at the present top-flight bunch, the overwhelming tendency is for home-bred chappies now. The only non-Spaniards are Hugo Sánchez (Mexico), now in his second season at Almería, Pochettino (Argentina) at Espanyol, and Manuel Pelligrini (Chile) at Real Madrid. The rest are home-grown. Ones to look out for? At the top of that list is Michel, once of Real Madrid and Spain, turned manager after a long and annoying spell as a commentator on TVE1.

Despite his slicked-back smooth-talking confidence with a microphone following on from his gel-oiled days as a player, he did talk a lot of sense, and was a perceptive if rather over-opinionated observer of the game. And you always felt that he would want to give it a go, that he would want to try out his gantry-infused views on a more close-up version, down in the dressing room of a club.

So far he has neither succeeded nor failed, at Rayo Vallecano, Castilla (although they went down under him) and now at Getafe. He will want to use the latter as a stepping-stone to return to the club that made him famous, but he will have to wait. He probably fancies the national job too, when Del Bosque decides to hang up his string vest, and being one of the new guard - a definite pretender to the guru school, he may well go far. This will depend entirely on the season that Getafe have, but their 1-4 win at Santander represents a decent start, to say the least. Barcelona at home next week should prove a more interesting test.

Unai Emery at Valencia is another that belongs to the quiet guru school, with a meticulous softly-softly psychological approach that puts him firmly in the post-modern camp. Despite all the various disasters that have befallen the club of late, he seems oblivious to it all. If he can construct a decent campaign out of the rubble of a once great club, he may be destined for greater things.

At another of the clubs expected to be in the top six, Abel Resino will stay at Atlético Madrid for another season, or at least that's what his contract says. Having come with no gold stars on his CV, Atlético's qualification for the Champions League has earned him another season to prove his worth. The jury is still out on him, but the fact that Agüero and Forlan are still around just might have had something to do with him.

Elsewhere, the four horsemen of a previous age, Joaquin Caparrós (Athletic), Gregorio Manzano (Mallorca), Manuel Preciado (Sporting) and Miguel Angel Lotina (Deportivo) will swear and stamp their feet in a defiant show of carácter that will set them apart from the new kids, led by the quietly authoritarian but saintly Guardiola.

Well, Lotina is a bit of a softie actually, but there's always room for one of those. Ernesto Valverde will try to make it again after an initially promising start at Athletic and Espanyol, but filling the guru's boots at Villarreal will not be easy, whilst Cuco Ziganda, another just out of his apprenticeship, looks to have his work cut out at newly-promoted Xerez.

Keep watching the benches this year for thoughtful and intelligent expressions, concise Mourinho-type declarations of wit and wisdom destined for a Christmas book collection of quotations, paternalistic Pelligrini expressions, spittle-infused shows of carácter and razor-sharp Guardiola haircuts. It's all to play for.

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Man no one can substitute the quality of Phil articles, great to have him back

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