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Thread: Rafa Benitez - The Destroyer of Teams

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    Rafa Benitez - The Destroyer of Teams

    Rafa Benitez (aged 50) was born in Madrid, Spain. He tried his career in football as a sweeper but had a largely unnoticed career. He represented the likes of "great clubs" like Parla and Linares after failing largely at Castilla- the 'B' team of Real Madrid. Some say that his lack of success in football stemmed from a great liking of food hence its quite apparent that food and football have become this man's passions. But there is a deeper, darker side to this jolly man (who doubles up as a Santa on children's parties), he destroys football clubs.


    Rafa Benitez- the Football Club Hitman

    PART I- Valencia Experience

    Just like his largely undistinguished career as a player, he started his coaching career from Castilla before moving on to coach Valladolid, Extremadura, Osasuna and Tenerife before catching a big break to coach the up and coming heavyweight of Europe and La Liga, Valencia CF. Valencia CF hailing from the city of Valencia were the eternal bridesmaid of La Liga at the start of the millenium. Under the strong coaching of Hector Cuper, Valencia were making strides in both domestic and european circuits. They had the ingredients of an ever improving team such as unity, young talented, and all in all, a cheaply assembled squad. These ingredients coupled with Barcelona's failure under Joan Gaspart (the eternal idiot) and Madrid's decline of the Galactico policy, meant that it was Valencia's time to shine. However, Cuper's good work made him noticed by Moratti and the argentine departed for the glamour of Milan.

    This was the time to be a coach of Valencia and Benitez got the chance after Luis Aragones, Mane and Javier Irrueta all declined the opportunity. Benitez started brilliantly as he signed Mista and Curro Torres on the cheap as he decided to eclipse the successful regime of Cuper. His team won the La Liga 2001/2002 as the big two- Barcelona and Real Madrid struggled throughout the season. Benitez was a superstar. He brought La Liga crown to Valencia after many years and finally, the bridesmaid became the bride. However, something dark was growing in Rafa's heart as he decided to wear Preferatti's attire as a fashion statement. His girth ever expanding, almost as if it was mimicking Rafa's ego. He was doomed from his own success.


    Rafa's Dark Secret

    His team faltered in the second season as they finished 5th which typically would have meant the end of any other manager. But Rafa wasnt any other manager, he decided that it was not his fault that the team suffered and started asking for more transfers which did not appeal to the club hierarchy. But Benitez got his way. Youth team which had produced the likes of Vicente and Albelda were disregarded as Benitez craved for more success. Benitez had an agenda and no man could be capable of coming between such- the systematic destruction of Valencia CF.

    Valencia won the La Liga 2003/2004 after Rijkaard's Barcelona faltering at the last step after greatly disappointing first half the season. Further, Benitez bought further glory to Valencia as he won the UEFA Cup. But it wasnt all smiles and hugs in the backroom as Benitez used the pitch success to turn its fans against the club management which were unhappy at the year's financial accounts. As tension grew larger between the two parties, Benitez's demand for a bigger buffet table was considered absurd by the club management, instead they gifted him a lampshade. This action was of catastrophic proportions as Benitez's moan (and subsquent resignation from the club) regarding the incident, made football fans all over the world admire the man's intelligence. He was a savior of the masses as he challenged the rules of the football world. He was a lone man that stood against the business of football. He was the new age Socrates.

    But all that man ever wanted was a bigger buffet table with more food options.


    More food options?!?

    And he got his wish at Liverpool FC and left Valencia with seasons of mediocrity with bad accounts and failing european ambitions.
    ======================================

    Next up- PART II- Fall of the Reds
    Last edited by House of Flies; 7th November 2010 at 12:10 AM.

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    JATINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

    back with a bang
    Say NO to "Gif" signature

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    Hahahaha, what is he even dressed as in that 2nd pic? He looks like an orthodox priest!

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    Rafa > Mourinho

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    Quote Originally Posted by Internazionale View Post
    Rafa > Mourinho
    I hope he writes a part III which documents your inevitable fate with the fat one in charge.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beast View Post
    JATINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

    back with a bang
    How you doing?

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    Waiting for our friend the "beermeister " to show up ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Super Pippo View Post
    Hahahaha, what is he even dressed as in that 2nd pic? He looks like an orthodox priest!
    He actually looks like a pedophile priest in this picture
    Say NO to "Gif" signature

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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Pippo View Post
    I hope he writes a part III which documents your inevitable fate with the fat one in charge.
    He'll win us CL. You heard it here first

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    Quote Originally Posted by Internazionale View Post
    He'll win us CL. You heard it here first
    I want some of what ever you are having.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Pippo View Post
    I want some of what ever you are having.
    A dose of reality?

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    Inter will struggle to win Serie A this season and for the good of Serie A the league needs a new winner
    Say NO to "Gif" signature

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    Well to be fair, didn't Rafa best Mourinho in all their CL encounters?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beast View Post
    Inter will struggle to win Serie A this season and for the good of Serie A the league needs a new winner
    Yep. If I was a betting man i'd say Juve.

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    Dr. Raed St. Claire
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    Finally, back!

    Can't wait, comic relief helps coping with Inter's disaster of a season.

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    Couldn't agree more with the writer of the topic. Fat trainer who only knows how to make a nice fat meal for himself.